Devil Said Bang (Sandman Slim 4)

I feel bad about Ipos. One more face to go up on the wall of the people who’ve died for me one way or another.

I check the peepers in the bedroom. It looks all clear. I go in and grab everything I need. Clothes. Toothbrush. I toss the na’at into the drawer with the Smith & Wesson, the singularity, and the Magic 8 Ball and carry it like a TV tray into the library.

The front doors feel safe for now. I put down arsenic and sulfur in front of the secret door that Ipos and Merihim used. The truth is, I feel pretty good. I shook things up. I got to break things. I got shot without dying. And I didn’t even have to go to the arena to do any of it.

The list of my enemies was the size of a phone book when I got here and it’ll be a whole set of encyclopedias by the time I leave. If the enemy I’m counting on doesn’t come through, at least I’ll have a lot more to choose from.

I’ve tried to avoid everyone, so I haven’t used the hotel phones much. The one in the library is like the others. Even though the Beverly Wilshire is my demonic palace, it’s still a hotel and the phones are put together hotel-style. A regular push-button model with a row of specialty buttons at the top. Instead of direct lines to the concierge and front desk, this phone only has two buttons. They read VIAND and PISSANTS. I pick up the receiver and push  PISSANTS. Brimborion picks up.

“Lucifer?”

“Do you know who’s locked up in the dungeon?”

His voice drops to a whisper.

“Yes.”

“I’m guessing you know discreet ways to get around the palace where no one’s going to see you.”

“Of course.”

“I want you to get the leader out without anyone seeing. Especially the guards. Can you do that?”

“I’ll have to distract them.”

“Whatever you need.”

“May I use a hellhound or two?”

“Use a zeppelin, for all I care. Just get her up here. I think we’ve come to an understanding, so I’ll even give you your passkey back.”

“Thank you,” he says. There’s a microsecond’s hesitation.

“You have another stashed away, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t be good at my job if I didn’t plan ahead.”

“Just get her up to the library. And be sure to knock. There was a little scuffle in here earlier and I’ve added new security.”

“Is anyone interesting dead?”

“Soon.”

I hang up and take out the black blade. Carve dark magic crosses and hexes on the floor up front and by the secret door. Shapes of ice, fire, and darkness. You can’t be too careful, especially after you know at least one other person has the keys to the kingdom. Now I just have to not step in my own traps on the way out.

It’s easy to lose track of time Downtown. I’ve been here one hundred days and a week. A week? More like three or four days since the first attack. In the next day or so I’ll either have the assassins off my back or be dead. Either way I won’t have a Dr. Caligari reject in the bedroom belching bugs on the duvet. On the other hand, there’s no reason to think I’ll destroy the possession key or the psychic amplifier anytime soon. So I’m still fucked, but finding out who’s actually sending bug men and bikers after me and killing my killers should buy me enough time to figure out how to access the last of Lucifer’s power.

I look at the hotel phone. If there are only two buttons and one is to a lackey, what’s the second for? I push VIAND.

“My lord?”

“Is this the kitchen?”

“Yes, lord.”

“Don’t call me ‘lord.’ Did anyone down there watch the cable cooking shows I told you about?”

“Yes, lord. Lucifer. I did.”