Devil Said Bang (Sandman Slim 4)

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t believe in anything. To tell it to you would be to cheapen it.”

“I just gave you a church.”

“I just saved your life. And we both did what we did for the same reason. We wanted something from each other.”

“You know I’ve only been Lucifer for like three months, right? I’m not the one that made you ride in the back of the bus all these years.”

She waves to one of her men. He comes over and she hands him the agreement. He goes back to wait with the others. Smart woman. She wants the paper away from me in case I change my mind.

She says, “It suits you, you know. Armor for the man who is always armored.”

“Visions and fashion tips? You do it all, sister.”

She leans back like she’s sizing up her kid for his first big-boy pants.

“I mean it. You look better in it than the other Lucifer. Look at the damage God’s final thunderbolt did to the metal.”

She touches the battered part of the armor.

“Even with the Lord’s mark on him, Samael was so anxious to play the tragic warrior king that he added the thunderbolt crest.”

She pats a blank spot in the center of the breastplate.

“I’m happy to see you removed it.”

I touch the armor where she had her hand. There’s a tiny divot where a bolt might have been removed. Suddenly I want to get back to the palace.

“I think I’m going to head out before someone realizes I’m gone. You can handle Grand Funk Railroad back there?”

“You’ll release the rest of my people?”

“I’ll make the call as soon as I get back.”

“We’ll drop off the prisoners when they’re returned.”

One of her crew, a tall silent woman with spiders branded into her arms and cheeks, drives me to the bike in the jeep Vetis took up here. She barely slows long enough for me to jump out before she’s tearing back up the road. So much for Hail Satan.

I start the bike and head out, keeping the speed subsonic. Between the Gladius and the ambulance crash, I’m feeling a little rough. Deumos and her people are just about to leave when I catch up. When I slow the bike, I can feel tension ripple through the air. People holding guns thumb off the safeties. Ones without guns get theirs out. I wait, gunning the throttle and waiting for something to happen. Deumos comes over slowly. Stands an arm’s length away, straight and defiant. I take the flask from my pocket and hand it to her.

“Tell the owner thanks.”

She takes the flask and I pop the clutch, burning rubber out of there.

I take the secret stairs up from the garage straight into the library, careful to step around the hexes in the floor. I pick up the phone and hit PISSANTS. Brimborion picks up.

“It’s me.”

“You’re alive.”

“Surprise. Release Deumos’s crew.”

“Security isn’t through questioning them.”

“You mean torture? They’re done. If any of them have a problem, tell them Lucifer said to put it in writing and shove it up their ass.”