Devil Said Bang (Sandman Slim 4)

“I am trying to get rid of you, just not kill you. And thanks for the vote of confidence. You’re back for a day and you’re already starting with the hostile attitude. I’m starting to miss the choirboy.”

I set the duffel bag on the floor.

“Look, I didn’t think it was you but I had to ask. I’ve got something with me that might interest you. A peace offering because looking over my shoulder all the time is giving me cramps.”

“What kind of peace offering?”

“A better look into Hell.”

“And why would I want that exactly?”

“Because I’d pay you for the info.”

“I think we’ve already established that I have all the money.”

“And we both know I could take it back if I really wanted but I’d rather take money from uncool people.”

“Like who?”

“King Cairo for one. I had to spank him in front of an audience tonight.”

Kasabian shakes his head. Nervously taps one of his hellhound claws on the desk.

“I knew you freaks would go at it eventually. You two need to get a room and hug it out.”

“Do you want a new superpower or not?”

“How does it work?”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure it will. But I’m guessing since you can already see into Hell this will be like souping up a Camaro with a nitrous injector.”

“Do I have to do anything?”

“Just sit still.”

“If you say ‘trust me,’ I’m climbing out the window.”

“You don’t have to trust me. You just have to not move.”

He flinches when I set the jar of eyes on the desk and mumbles “Oh shit,” when I take one out. He reaches for my arm. I pop out one of his eyes and he freezes. I put in the peeper. When I let go of him he wails like a scalded banshee.>“I should have let Mason kill you.”

She sips her tea and puts it down.

“What a strange thing to say. You saved us angels to keep the gates of Hell closed and now here you are. Hell itself. You saved this world from horror only to return as the embodiment of horror.”

“Guess the God-killing business doesn’t pay well if you have to wet-nurse these ankle biters.”

“I go where I’m needed.”

Cairo has inched his way closer behind me. I flick the na’at at his feet. He dances back a step. He looks like a prancing idiot but he’s a dangerous son of a bitch.

“If the hit squad in the bar were legit Sub Rosa security, why did they take off their brands?”

Cairo clears his throat.

“New security policy. Some of the boys got God. Thou shalt not mark thy body or some such. Anyway, praying calms them, so I encourage it.”

I shove Blackburn into a chair, say “Stay,” and walk over to Aelita.