“Of course. May I go now?”
“Sure. Run along, you scamp.”
He doesn’t move until I put the gun back in my waistband.
“Thank you for stopping by.”
“My pleasure. See you around the afterlife.”
Teddy heads for the house fast. He doesn’t run even though he wants to. Yeah, someone did a real number on him if he thanked me after what I put him through.
I take it all back, everything I’ve ever said about the rich. I love the loud rich. I want the rich to be coked up, ugly, flashy, and decked in blood diamonds. Teddy’s kind of mousy Emily Dickinson rich is so much worse. Trying to hate Teddy is like trying to hate wallpaper paste. When I get home, I’m going to write a love letter to the loathsome rich letting them know how much I appreciate them. Their glorious excess gives me something substantial to despise and I love them for it.
It takes twenty minutes to get down the hill. The sky is blue again when I climb on the bike but the clouds have turned a dull gray. I swear I can see rivets along their sides like they’re floating islands of steel.
I’m about to kick-start the bike when my phone rings. Candy is as bad at patience as I am. But it’s not her.
“Are you settling into your new home all right? Good water pressure? Is it clean under the bed? I hear the Chateau is close to all the hot spots.”
It’s a different voice this time. A woman’s voice but I know who it really is. This isn’t going to stop.
“You again. I know you’re speaking through a mortal. Why don’t you come over to the Chateau and we’ll talk things over like a couple of friendly, reasonable monsters?”
“What would Alice say about you settling into Satan’s residence so quickly and easily? Good thing she went back to Heaven when she did. Who knows what would have happened to her if she’d stayed with you.”
“Don’t talk about Alice, you Hellion puke. I know what you’re trying to do. You want me back down there.”
“Can you see her now? Her pretty face on the wall with all the other dead you have to account for.”
“You think you want me back but trust me, you don’t.”
“Speaking of the dead, we’re knee-deep in them down here. No one thinks you’re coming back. Least of all me. Every burble and bubble in every sinkhole sounds like doom to the rabble.”
“If I came back, I figure the best way to find you is to kill every Hellion down there. I don’t know how long that would take but we’ve got all eternity to try. I hope you have a good call plan.”
“If you think things were falling apart before, wait until you see what happens this time. Those poor lost souls without you to protect them.”
“Just because I’m not coming back doesn’t mean I don’t have plans. They’ll be fine long after you’re drytt food.”
“It’s such a comfort hearing your voice.”
“Yeah. You’re my evil past. All the birds come home and shit on your head. A dead girl told me all about it. As far as I’m concerned, Hell can burn to the ground this time. Tell everyone down there I said it.”
“No matter how far or fast you run, it won’t be enough. I’ll always be with you.”
I hang up. Immediately, the phone rings but I ignore it. It keeps ringing all the way through Malibu.
I look for Catalina on the ride back but I can’t find it. Sometimes the weather hides it. That’s probably what it is.
Candy is in the top-floor hall at the Chateau Marmont when I open the grandfather clock.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Are you going to stay out there or come in and see for yourself?”
She comes through and stands just inside the entrance trying to absorb it all. I’ve been here and I’ve lived in Lucifer’s palace Downtown but I’m not sure she’s ever been in such a conspicuous consumption situation before.
She puts her hands on my shoulders and turns me back and forth.