Devil Said Bang (Sandman Slim 4)

“Don’t hurt her!” yells Allegra.

I won’t. I can see it in her eyes. She’s possessed. Someone is having fun Downtown. Rinko already hates my guts, so it probably wasn’t hard getting in her head and tweaking her to come at me. I was hoping that with Aelita up here, the possession games would stop for a while. Maybe I should have burned Hell on my way out of town. Maybe I should have hung more skins on the fences. Was I too awful a Lucifer or too nice? Neither. I was just lousy. Am just lousy. I should have seen this coming.

The clinic door opens again and Vidocq comes out. He has another scalpel and the same dead-fish possessed look in his eyes. When he raises his hand to slash me, I pop him once in the jaw. Not hard enough to hurt him. Just hard enough to lay him out.

Allegra gets between us, dragging poor dazed Rinko with her.

“Eugène. Stark. What’s wrong with you? Stop it.”

“He can’t hear you. He’s possessed. So was Rinko.”

Rinko is starting to come around. Allegra kneels by Vidocq and checks his eyes. Looks back at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she says.

“These days, when one possessed person goes down, another pops up. I thought you were going to go off with the scalpel next but maybe you’re immune because of the angel hoodoo you work with all day. Lucky for both of us.”

Rinko comes over and helps Allegra get Vidocq back on his feet. She looks at me funny. She has no idea how she got outside or why my shirt is ripped or why I’m dressed like an extra in a Hercules movie.

“Vidocq will be fine. When his head clears, he won’t remember a thing.”

I get around them and open the door. Allegra looks like she might slash me without being possessed.

“We don’t need your help.”

She waits until I step away from the door before taking Vidocq inside.

“I’m not the villain here. I’m the one who got knifed.”

“This time,” says Allegra, pulling the door behind her. I grab it before it closes.

“Take care of Candy. And don’t let either of these two near her.”

“I know how to run my own clinic.”

“Really? Does your staff settle all its arguments with a knife fight?”

Allegra doesn’t say anything. She tries to pull the door closed. I don’t let her.

“When I’ve done what I have to do, I’m coming back and I’m going to see Candy whether any of you like it or not.”

I let go of the door. She pulls it closed and locks it.

“It’s nice to see you’ve still got the magic touch with people.”

The voice is behind me. I recognize it because it’s mine. I turn around and look at me.

Saint James is dressed in tan khakis and a blue pullover with an off-brand logo over the pocket. He looks like me if I was eleven years younger and a Mormon kid on my missionary work. I’d never admit it but I feel strange and it even hurts a little seeing myself without all the scars. The guy I was before I went Downtown has been gone so long I don’t even remember him but I’m looking at him and that’s bad enough. What’s worse is that Saint James, patron saint of traitors, cowards, and general pricks, knows it.

“How’s Heaven, pal? I mean Blue Heaven. What the hell is that? Some kind of time-share hideout with D. B. Cooper and Ambrose Bierce?”

“I was about to pull you out of Vidocq’s way but as usual you solved the problem with your fist. You’re punching friends these days. It’s good to see a man broaden his interests.”

“The only reason you’d save me is because half my skin is yours.”

“True enough, but you didn’t have a shred of common sense up here, and Hell hasn’t helped you gain any perspective.”

I take out a Malediction. Sit on the hood of the Volvo and light it. I don’t offer Saint James one. No way this milquetoast smokes.