“You could say we rebel angels had troubled childhoods, but I blame video games,” says Samael.
Mr. Muninn says, “Quiet, you. Why don’t you go home and check on things at the palace.” He looks at me. “It’s getting crowded down there.”
Samael looks disappointed.
“You said I could come along. This is Stark we’re talking to. Not Mary Magdalen.”
“Well, you’re not helping, so please keep your contributions on topic.”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, Aelita is still one of your kids,” I say.
“Of course. Even at his worst, so was Samael. So are you. So is all humankind.”
“Let’s just keep this focused. Aelita is your kid. Samael is your kid. Merihim and Deumos are your kids.”
“Yes. All the rebel angels are my children.”
“Then you are one child-abusing motherfucker.”
“Excuse me?” says Muninn. Thunder rumbles outside.
“I’m an Abomination. A little outside everyone, right? I’m both sides and neither side of the argument. And I have your solution.”
“To what?”
“Your misery. And your kids’ misery.”
“Please, enlighten us all with the revelation of Saint Stark.”
“Close down Hell.”
Samael crushes his beer can and belches.
“Excuse me.”
The prick knew where I was going all along. He wanted me to say it first.
“I’m telling you as an ex-Lucifer, as someone who’s seen how miserable not just the damned are but the angels guarding them. Turn off the lights. Roll up the carpets and lock the doors. Whatever point you were making by tossing the rebels there has been made. Hell hasn’t redeemed the fallen angels. It’s created the biggest suicide cult in history. That’s why the generals agreed to Mason Faim’s idiot plan to storm Heaven. They knew it would fail and that Heaven’s armies would destroy them. Suicide by cop.”
Mr. Muninn picks up his coffee. Sips it and makes a face. It’s gone cold. He moves his hand over it and it’s hot again. He takes another sip.
“Nice trick,” I say.
“Are you going to point out how weak I am now that I’ve split into pieces? Don’t bother. I feel it every day.”
“I met Nefesh yesterday.”
Mr. Muninn nods.
“Yes, he told me all about it. My brother has come to stay with me.”
“And me,” says Samael. “Two fathers in the same house. Can you imagine my joy?”
“What about it, Mr. Muninn? Shut down Hell.”
He shakes his head.