“How do you know that?”
“When your angel broke loose of you, he talked in his sleep.”
“What, and you used to crouch over him and listen? You pervert.”
“You can take the boy out of the Devil but not the Devil out of the boy,” he says.
We both look at Mr. Muninn. He seems lost in thought.
He says, “If I was to agree to let Father Traven leave, would you give me the Qomrama Om Ya?”
That stumps me. I don’t know what to say at first. I don’t think Nefesh wanted to get near the thing.
“No,” I say. “But I promise I’ll use it against the Angra and fight them until the end.”
“Then the answer is no.”
“Let me throw you another compromise,” I say.
“All right.”
“Let Father Traven go and I’ll come back to Hell and stay. I’ll be Lucifer again.”
“Ha!” says Samael. Mr. Muninn opens his eyes a bit wider. I wish I could read angels the way I can read humans. I never know what these fuckers are thinking. That goes double for God.
“You’d really do that?”
“If I can bring Candy with me, yes.”
Mr. Muninn shakes his head.
“You’re the definition of a troublesome child.”
“What about me?” says Samael.
“You both exasperate me.”
I say, “It’s a gift. Well?”
“What can I say? You weren’t the worst imaginable Lucifer, but you were very close. No, you won’t come back as Hell’s caretaker. But I’m impressed by your offer, though I’m not rewarding you for it. I’m protecting Hell from your whims. Keep Father Traven. Put him in Blue Heaven. And this time, you’ll owe me a favor.”
“Cool.”
I put out my hand. Mr. Muninn shakes it. It’s not a happy shake. It’s not even angry. It’s weary. Being Lucifer will do that to you. He gives me a wicked smile worthy of Samael.
“I hope there are no hard feelings about the Chateau Marmont situation,” he says.
“No. I knew it was coming. I had my hand pretty deep in the cookie jar.”
“That you did, son. That you did. Well, I’m off.”
“Why don’t you stay? We were going to try and eat the last of the Chateau food, but I think we’ve lost our nerve. I figure we’ll send out for something.”
Muninn takes a last swig of coffee.
“And that’s why you won’t be Lucifer anytime soon. You don’t have the most logical work ethic. I’ll be heading back now to take care of business. Samael?”
“I’ll be along in a bit. I have a few of my own issues to talk over with Stark.”