The Getaway God (Sandman Slim 6)

“Die, God’s Abomination.”

Shaky swings his massive body, slamming a concrete and rebar fist into the street just a few feet from me. For about two seconds I consider standing my ground and throwing some hoodoo back at him. Instead my ribs throb and I cough a little blood into my mouth and remember that running away is also a good strategy.

I run across the street, and when I turn I see the only thing that might be stranger than a building ready to stomp me into apple butter. It’s Mr. Muninn, standing in the middle of the intersection calmly looking up at Shaky like he sees sentient buildings every day of the week.

Only this isn’t a Muninn I’ve seen before. He’s yellow, and a little trimmer than the Muninn I know. His face is badly scarred, and when he scans the street with his dead eyes I know who it is.

Fuck this guy. Of course Ruach would show up now that Shaky is going GG Allin all over Hollywood. Better to wreck L.A. than muddy Heaven’s golden streets. And lucky me, I’m right in the middle of it all.

Ruach cocks his head this way and that. Blind, he’s listening for Shaky, but Muninn said he’s half deaf too, so his moves are slow and tentative. But that doesn’t mean he’s helpless.

Shaky reaches for him and the whole street rumbles and shakes. Ruach swings his arms in Shaky’s direction and lets go with a thunderbolt that leaves me blind for a few seconds. When I can see again, Shaky is flat on his back. He slams his concrete-­and-­steel fists into the street, crushing cars and knocking over streetlights, hauling himself back onto his feet. He roars, blowing out windows up and down the boulevard. I put my hands over my ears and watch him lunge at the small figure of Ruach.

The God brother doesn’t move as the bank lands on top of him, leaving a deep crater in the intersection. Shaky stands with Ruach in his giant mitt. He raises his arm and slams Ruach into the crater.

For a moment there’s only the sound of the rain. Then another thunderbolt explodes from the crater, hitting Shaky full on, shattering the windows in his chest. Plate glass cascades like a shower of diamonds into the street.

This fight has been a long time coming. How long has it been since Ruach and Shaky have seen each other? A few billion years ago when God was still in one piece and he gave the Angras the bum rush out of town. That’s a long time to nurse a grudge. It must be the way I feel about Sylvester Stallone after he remade Get Carter.

Shaky staggers as Ruach steps out of the crater. He makes a sweeping gesture and the crushed cars and trucks all along one side of Hollywood Boulevard rapid-­fire launch themselves at the bank. Concrete shatters. Steel snaps. But Shaky is still standing, batting away the last few cars with the back of his hand.

He wrenches a huge slab of asphalt from the street and slams it down on Ruach. Stomps it down with his huge foot, buckling the boulevard for a block in each direction.

This could go on all night and wreck half the city. Two partial Gods, duking it out and neither quite strong enough to take the other. Maybe I can do something. Maybe no one needs to sacrifice himself tonight.

I pull Traven’s box from my pocket and get out the 8 Ball. The Shonin said it wants to please me, and it’s killed for me before. I stare at it, trying to will it to do something, but it just sits there in my hand.

Then shit gets extra interesting.

I don’t know if the 8 Ball has a smell or a glow or does a little dance that only Gods can see, but whatever it is, it gets Shaky’s attention. He takes a step in my direction. When he does, the ground opens up under him and Ruach pulls him down. He crashes into the street, his body crumbling down one side. Ruach looks like he’s heading in for the kill when he stops. The bastard must have picked up the 8 Ball’s scent because now he heads my way. But Shaky grabs him and drags him back. I head back up the street, hoping that with them distracted, I can get the bike started again.

A woman staggers up the street in my direction. What’s a goddamn civilian doing around here? I head for her, ready to grab her and throw her on the back of the hog.

I get hold of one of her arms and yell, “Come with me.”

She bites me. I push her away and she comes back harder this time, shattered teeth chattering like I’m the last drumstick at Thanksgiving.

If I wasn’t trying to dodge a ­couple of angry Gods, I might have looked her over before I got too close. The Eater in her chop-­shop body doesn’t appreciate my dime-­store chivalry and lets me know by trying to gnaw my arm off.

I’m hurt and I don’t have time for this noise. I shove the 8 Ball in her face. The moment it touches her she screams. I pull the Qomrama back, drawing the Eater out of her body. As it dies, the woman face-­plants in the street.

I head back for the bike, but Ruach is headed there too. I’d bet that, even blind, he saw the 8 Ball light up like a flare and he knows exactly where to find me. He runs toward me, his scarred yellow body glowing into holy fire. I hold up the 8 Ball and it just seems to make him angrier. There’s nowhere for me to run.

“Father.”

Ruach slows and looks around.

“Father, what are you doing wasting time with this mortal? Your enemy is behind you.”

Samael walks calmly across the shattered boulevard to stand beside me.

Ruach points.

“He used the Godeater.”

“Not on you.”

Ruach starts to say something else when a concrete hand the size of a truck grabs him and pulls him away.