The Getaway God (Sandman Slim 6)

“Did you bring me here to kill me? I could have stayed in bed for that.”

He scratches his chin.

“I thought about it. I had to ask myself if your continued existence was more of an asset or a liability for the universe.”

“And?”

“I’ve put off a final decision for the time being.”

“Thanks, I guess. I mean all us nondeities are born with a gun to our heads and someday it’ll go off. At least I know I’m not immortal. The laundry bills would have killed me.”

Muninn goes out into the hall and we follow. He walks us down to the main room by the big picture windows.

“The real reason I wanted to bring you here was to remind you of the state Hell was in when you left.”

I get a bad feeling in my gut.

“You’re not going to make me Lucifer again, are you?”

“No. That would be cruel to the damned. But I wanted you to have a last look at the place. As I said before, everything is different now.”

“Are you making Samael Lucifer again?”

Muninn seems lost in his thoughts again. Like he’s still trying to find the words.

“There won’t be any more Lucifers,” he says. “And no more Hell. At least not in its present form.”

“I’m not getting you.”

“We talked once . . . well, you harangued and I politely listened, about opening the gates of Hell. Dismantling it in a sense. Opening Heaven to whoever among the fallen can make their way there and who choose to stay. Hell will remain as it is. With a few repairs to make it more hospitable. Any angel or soul that chooses to remain here can do so.”

“That’s great news. Really.”

He nods, but doesn’t look happy.

“Now that things have changed, we must change with them.”

“You’re going home now to run Heaven, I guess.”

He shakes his head.

“No. I’m old and worn out and need a rest. Samael will rule in Heaven.”

Samael smiles like it’s his birthday and he got a free Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s. I give him a ­couple of seconds of applause.

“Lucifer finally gets to make Heaven the way he wants it. What will the tabloids say?”

“That I’m a reformed devil. Don’t forget to mention that when they call you for a quote.”

“He won’t be entirely in charge, of course,” says Muninn. “More of a regent taking care of things day-­to-­day in my place.”

Samael shrugs.

“I tried to get him to retire, but he won’t give up the family business.”

I look at Muninn.

“Where are you going?”