Ballistic Kiss (Sandman Slim 11)

“I had a feeling. I didn’t get any warm food, but I stopped off and picked you up a charcuterie platter.”

“Charcuterie?”

“Meat. Cheese. Ever had a deli platter?”

“Sure.”

“It’s like that, only it doesn’t suck.”

She lays out a spread of thinly sliced meats and cheeses. More kinds of cheese than I’ve ever seen before. Some are really soft. I poke a plastic package and she swats my finger.

“No poking. Now, show me what you got at the store.”

I point to the pile of crap over at the far corner of a side counter. She frowns as she paws through the mess. Finally, she picks up a jar of olives and comes back.

“We can do something with these.”

“What about the rest of it?”

“Is there a shovel around here?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Too bad. I was going to tell you to bury it in a shallow grave.”

For the first time since this party thing started I laugh and feel a little more relaxed. She points to the Donut Universe boxes.

“Here. Make yourself useful by laying those out on plates. I don’t suppose you picked up some dessert?”

I’ve got her now.

“I sure did. You’re going to love this.”

I take her to the freezer and fling the door open.

“Check that out, smarty.”

She just stare

s. Doesn’t say a word.

Then, “Is that a yule log?”

“Isn’t it great? Everyone loves Santa. And there’s reindeers too.”

“Stark, it’s the middle of summer. That thing is practically old enough to vote and buy beer. Speaking of which, do you have any?”

“Beer?”

She sighs.

“Don’t tell me you forgot beer.”

“I got bourbon, vodka, gin, rum, aquavit . . .”

“But no beer.”

I cross my arms.