Ballistic Kiss (Sandman Slim 11)

I say, “What else is going on?”

“I’m going to say something and you might not like me anymore, but I need to say it.”

“Unless you’re a cop with a bench warrant, I’m going to like you no matter what.”

“Some people have had a problem with it, so I just wanted to get it out there.”

“Just say whatever is on your mind.”

She looks at the floor before she begins to speak.

“When you call me ‘girl’ or ‘she’ this or ‘her’ that, well, I wish you wouldn’t. I’m not a her or she or any of that.”

“I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

“Do you know what non-binary is?”

“No. What?”

“The simplest way to explain it is I think gender is dumb,” says Janet. “I don’t feel like a man or a woman or, really, even know what those things are. It all seems so made-up. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so.”

“When someone calls me ‘she’ or ‘her’ they’re just talking about some expectation of who I am because of how I look.”

“That part I understand. So, not a she or a he either.”

“Right. Gender just doesn’t mean anything to me,” Janet says. “Yeah, I was assigned female at birth, but mentally, emotionally, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Non-binary.”

“You can also just say ‘enby.’”

“Enby. Okay. If not ‘she,’ what should I call you then?”

“‘They’ and ‘them’ works. I know that can be confusing at first, but I promise you it stops being weird pretty quickly.”

“‘They’ and ‘them.’ I can do that. I’m still not sure I understand it all a hundred percent, but I’ll try.”

“That’s all that matters.”

I think about it for a minute.

“I think I’m a guy. He. Is that all right?”

“Of course. That’s what I was trying to say. If it fits, that’s perfect for you. It means you’re who you feel yourself to be and what makes you happy.”

“That makes sense.”

Janet looks sheepish and says, “You still like me?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Words are words. Names are names. None of that is going to change how I feel about someone. We are who we are.”

“Some people—especially guys—don’t handle it well. They think pronouns are stupid or that I’m going through a phase. But I’m not.”

“Those guys sound pretty stupid.”

I remember one of my guards when I was in the arena Downtown.