Ballistic Kiss (Sandman Slim 11)

Janet looks like she’s getting tired of my questions.

“Look. It’s not like anyone makes anyone do anything. You’re allowed to skip excursions every now and then.”

“As long as you have a good reason,” says Mike.

I say, “And Dan and Juliette get to decide what’s a good reason.”

“Naturally.”

“Did you take a night off after you broke your arm?”

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“In fact I did. Right, baby?”

He gives Maria a big, dumb smile.

She says, “We spent the night at home. He couldn’t even cut his food, so I fed him steak like a baby.”

“You know babies who eat steak? Those sound like some cool kids.”

“Stop it,” says Janet. “You know what she means.”

“I’m just kidding.”

“Of course,” says Maria.

“When do I get to meet the Pope and Mrs. Pope?”

“In about ten seconds, I think.”

“They’re here,” says Janet.

Everybody turns to the stairs as a couple makes a grand entrance.

Dan Perkins is in a silk shirt and pants with the sleeves rolled up. Business casual. He has gray hair and slightly funny eyes. Really, he looks less like a businessman than a gray-haired anthropology professor who’s dipped into the school’s ayahuasca supply one too many times.

Juliette Stray is a bleach-blond Mamie Van Doren knockoff. She kisses cheeks left and right as she moves through the crowd. A big smile masks someone trying to look way too nice for it to be anything but protective coloring—like the pretty stripes on a coral snake. Better keep an eye on her. If things go bad, she’ll be the one who puts the knife in.

While Juliette plays social butterfly, Dan comes right over to me. He looks me up and down as we shake.

“You know, we don’t usually allow outside interference in our excursions,” he says.

I look him over too.

“I don’t remember asking anyone’s permission.”

“And that’s why we asked Janet if you’d like to stop by tonight.”

I turn to Janet.

“This wasn’t your idea? They told you to do it?”

They say, “I was going to ask Dan and Juliette if I could bring you anyway.”

Juliette finally joins us, pecking me on both cheeks.

“It’s true,” she says. “Janet brought you up and we insisted on meeting the hero.”