Ballistic Kiss (Sandman Slim 11)

“That shit doesn’t work on me. Believe me, I’ve tried. Norco. Oxy. Morphine. I even tried snorting heroin.”

“You were using heroin?”

“Once, Mr. High and Mighty. Once.”

“I’m not judging you. I just don’t want you to OD.”

He gives me a look.

“You sure about that?”

“Fuck you, crybaby. Give me back my whiskey.”

“No way. This is the only good thing that’s happened to me in years. Since that night Mason sent you to Hell.”

“That wasn’t a good night for me either.”

Kas props himself up on his elbow.

“Yeah? Well right now look at you, then look at me. Who do you think came out ahead?” He takes a long pull from the bottle and says, “This is it, man. This is my life. I was a lousy magician, but I ran a good store. Now I can’t even do that.”

Kasabian thrashes around trying to sit up and spills whiskey everywhere.

“Calm down, Kas.”

He stabs a finger at me.

“First Mason fucks me over, then you leave me nothing but a chattering head. A Halloween toy you throw away when all the candy’s gone. My life is a fucking joke. So, no. You calm the fuck down.”

Candy knocks and comes in.

“How are you boys doing?”

Kasabian smiles at her.

“We’re great. How are you, princess?”

I don’t like where this is going.

I say, “Kas, you want to yell at me, fine. But don’t go after Candy.”

He turns to me.

“Look at you, the knight in shining armor. How much good did that act get you? There she is. Standing there right in the doorway. Close enough to touch. She might as well be on the moon. You lost her, Stark. Sure, she goes on a little date with you every now and then just to keep you from blowing your brains out. You think it means anything? She’s gone. She’s got Alessa and the store and you’ve got nothing. Like me.”

Candy says, “Please calm down, Kas. Let me get you a glass for the whiskey.”

Kas doesn’t hear her. His eyes are locked on mine.

“You got that big gun of yours with you? Of course you do. Come on. We’ll go out together. Two losers no one will ever miss.”

“I’m not shooting you and I’m not shooting myself.”

“Then what good are you? Get out of here and don’t come back. You too, princess.”

Candy says, “Let me call Manimal Mike one more time.”

“Fuck him and fuck all of you. Get out and leave me alone.”