Ballistic Kiss (Sandman Slim 11)

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means they’re gone and you can send your goons in here to help the civilians instead of murdering them. I’m a little fed up with murder tonight, so tell your people to be nice or I’ll be mad.”

“Calm down,” says Abbot. “I’ll send in some scouts to check the area. If it’s clear, we’ll send in medical assistance.”

“Trust me. It’s clear.”

“Thank you, Stark.”

“Hey, Abbot. Were you ever in love?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Were you ever in love with anybody?”

“Yes. My wife.”

“Good for you. I’m glad to hear it.”

I hang up and go back to Allegra’s clinic. There’s nothing I can do to change things, but at least I can be there for a friend.

Hours later, when I get Allegra to try to sleep, I go back to the flying saucer house. I’m almost annoyed that it’s back to normal again. The perfection of the place is starting to drive me crazy. I appreciate that there’s always good food and liquor, but I punched those holes in the wall for a reason and now they’re gone. I don’t know how much more of this Mr. Rogers Hell I can take.

I sleep a lot of the next day, but I don’t dream at all. The slash in my ribs came from the phurba, so the healing is a lot slower than if it had been a regular knife. Plus, I have about fifty other wounds all over to deal with. Candy comes by to check on me in the afternoon and Janet comes by in the evening.

I’m in bed, covered in bandages and half-healed scars. Janet sits next to me with their hand resting on my leg.

They say, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got gored by a water buffalo shot out of one of those circus cannons they use for clowns. You know the ones?”

They smile.

“Yeah. I’ve seen them.”

“How is that even a job? What do you put on your taxes? ‘Clown gunner’?”

Janet laughs a little.

“It’s good to see you your own ridiculous self again.”

“Look. About last night—”

“No. I want to apologize. You were right and I didn’t listen. You saved me.”

“Yeah, but I still feel weird about the whole thing. You told me to leave a couple of times and I didn’t.”

“It’s okay.”

“Is it? Look, I’m trying to understand people better, and that means not kidnapping them and not making them listen to me when they don’t want to.”

Janet gives me a look.

“You’ve kidnapped people?”

“Lots, but that’s not the point. The point is that I should have listened to you and left, but I didn’t, so I’m sorry.”

“Stark, if you hadn’t come by, you wouldn’t have known I was going to the Lodge. They would probably have killed me.”