I have to think about that for a minute.
“Then it’s a good thing I didn’t listen?”
“Partly.”
“Goddamn. This understanding-people thing is harder than it looks.”
They pat my leg.
“It is, isn’t it? But I’ll give you points for one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You haven’t forgotten my pronouns in days.”
“I have in my head a few times.”
Janet shrugs. “We all do that. I mess up other people’s sometimes.”
“You too?”
“Of course. People are complicated. That makes the world complicated. You’re not going to figure it out in a few days.”
“Punching monsters was a lot easier than this.”
“You promised to tell me more about that, you know.”
“I know. And I will.”
They stare off into space.
“I still feel weird about what I did to Dan.”
“Putting him where he belonged?”
“On the one hand, yes, but on the other, who am I to judge who deserves to go to Hell?”
“The human sacrificee gets to judge the human sacrificer. Them’s the rules.”
Janet cocks their head.
“Is it that simple?”
I sit up in bed.
“Sometimes. Listen, you’re like most people. You think salvation and damnation are these grand, perfect systems run by flawless celestial beings with all the knowledge of the universe.”
“Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?”
“Maybe. But let me tell you how things really work: Hell is a carny show. Heaven is a wreck. God is recovering from a nervous breakdown, and Lucifer, well, he’s the most complicated thing of all.”
“How so?”
“There isn’t technically a Lucifer, unless you count God because he’s trying to run Heaven and Hell at the same time.”
Janet frowns.
“What? I don’t understand.”