Ballistic Kiss (Sandman Slim 11)

We both down our drinks. Mine is smooth, with that slightly hot fruit-flavored aftertaste.

Kasabian downs his. Only his face looks funny. He chokes and coughs. Keeps coughing. Finally, he spits something into his hand. It’s the asphodel seed.

“What’s this?” he says.

“Nothing. It’s medicine. Eat it.”

He leans back on the bed and looks at me.

“After all this time, you’re finally trying to kill me. What’s the matter? Killing the old French guy wasn’t enough for you? What’s the plan? You kill me, move in here, and win Candy back? It ain’t gonna work, asshole. I told you. She’s gone. You’re nothing to her now but a sad old mutt she’s too sentimental to put down.”

“Just eat the goddamn seed, Kas.”

“No. I’m not going to be another notch on your belt. You want to kill me, put your gun to my head so I can look you in the eye.”

I set down my glass and put my hands together.

“I promise you. I’m not trying to poison you or hurt you in any way whatsoever.”

“Your existence hurts me. You walking the streets, getting drunk at a bar I can’t get to, eating donuts at a shop I can’t walk to. Everything about you is a pain in my nonexistent ass.”

My blood pressure is going up, but I take a breath.

“You want donuts? I’ll bring you some tomorrow. How many do you want? What kind? I’ll fucking fill this place with donuts.”

Kasabian holds out the seed.

“You think I want food from you when you try to poison me? I might be pathetic,

but I’m not dumb. Get out of here,” he says. “And take your poison with you.”

He throws the asphodel seed at me. It bounces off my coat and under his bed.

“Shit.”

I get on my hands and knees and crawl underneath. It’s not pretty.

“Fuck, Kas. Have you swept under here once? It’s like the goddamn Amazon rain forest. Tumbleweeds everywhere.”

He flails his one good arm at me.

“There aren’t any tumbleweeds in the Amazon rain forest, you moron.”

He manages to tag me a couple of times with his damn metal hand. On top of my other injuries, it really hurts.

Then my hand lands on something.

“Got it.”

I come out from under the bed and blow the last of the dust off the seed.

Kasabian looks genuinely scared now.

“I’m not swallowing your fucking poison.”

“I’m telling you, it’s not poison.”

“Then you eat it.”