“I don’t know anything about that. I just know that she’s always upheld any contract I’ve had with her. You, on the other hand, are a lying murderer, so my position stands.”
This is one of those moments when being Sandman Slim, having a reputation like that, is not a goddamn asset. With a track record like mine, it’s hard to fall back on a “Let’s be reasonable” argument.
“Is there something I can give you? I’m a big fan of bribes. Tell me something you want and I’ll get it. Money? Bonds? A Rolls-Royce? A whole fleet of them?”
He lowers his head, almost in disappointment, it seems.
“You can’t buy me or convince me of your good intentions. I have nothing for you. If you’re going to kill me, get on with it. If you’re going to let me go, then let me go.”
I pull my chair in closer, until I can practically smell his mouthwash.
“First off, I’m the madman here. Don’t explain my options to me. Second, you’re not going anywhere until I’m alive again. I’m going to seal this place tight, so that I’m the only one who can get in or out. If I’m going to die, I’m going to spend those last few precious moments with you, liquefying all over your nice suit. After that, you can stay in here until you’re bones and gristle too. And after that, I’ll be waiting for you in Hell with a lava tuxedo just your size.”
Howard pats his hands on his knees.
“Empty threats. I’m exempt from damnation. You can’t touch me in the afterlife.”
“First off, Heaven is out for you. For everyone really, but especially for you, so don’t even worry about that. Second, I’d try to explain all the ways I can hurt you in Hell, but I don’t have time. Let me simply impress upon you that I can find you anywhere in the afterlife and make your eternity a fucking misery.”
I grab him and use the last of my strength to throw him a few feet across the room.
“I’m going to find a way to fix myself without you. And when I do, you and me are going to have words.”
Howard sits up and adjusts his suit.
“You have no idea how absurd you are. When I say that the spell is obscure I mean that it only appears in one book and I had the only copy left in the world. Do you know what I did with it?”
“What?”
“I burned it. You see, I have a photographic memory. I didn’t need it anymore and I didn’t want anyone else to have those secrets.”
“What was the name of the book?”
He purses his lips for a moment.
“Goodness. I can’t remember.”
I step on his hand. As he winces I say, “This isn’t the time to fuck with me.”
I step off his hand and he cradles it against his body. But he still doesn’t look scared. In fact, he’s the opposite.
“Why don’t you try hypnotizing me?” he says. “Maybe I’d spill my secrets then. But wait. How many languages do you speak? Ludovico’s Ellicit is written in six, and none of them are currently spoken on Earth.”
Ludovico’s Ellicit. That’s not much, but it’s the most I’ve had to go on since Wormwood brought me back. Before Howard realizes that he gave something away, I whisper the hoodoo I used earlier and he falls over unconscious again. I drag him into a small guest bedroom and roll him onto the mattress. I seal the room with a little more hoodoo and leave him there, safe and sound for now.
I can’t find a bar in this dump, but I do find the kitchen. The refrigerator is fully stocked. I pile some chicken and potatoes on a plate and heat them up in the microwave. The chicken tastes like cardboard and the potatoes like wallpaper paste. But I finish everything. The food is going to either kill me or give me back a little strength. With food in my empty belly, I’m more tired than ever. I have to get some sleep, but before I do I text Ray.
Ludovico’s Ellicit. That’s the spell.
I sit there groggy and wondering if I have any options left.
There’s one I can think of. I hate to use it, but I don’t have time to be subtle anymore.
If you need hel
p, call Vidocq. A friend.
I give Ray his number and collapse on the couch. I set the alarm on my phone for one hour. That’s as long as I can spare doing nothing.