“I’m going to use this. Remember this knife? An assassin’s blade. And it will kill anything. Including angels. If it will kill an angel, it will kill Howard.”
He applauds lightly.
“It seems you have some faculties left. All right. Let’s say you kill him. What about your personal situation? With Howard gone, you’ll be killing the one person who knows the ritual to bring you back.”
“Fuck Ludovico and the Ellicit he rode in on. Howard was never going to do it. It was just a stalling tactic.”
“It seems to have worked.”
I laugh again.
“I guess you’re right. Still, what you want is for me to lean back, close my eyes, and sleep the big sleep. I can’t do that. If I’m going to die, I’m going to go out messy.”
He taps his cane on the ground.
“Alice sends her regards,” he says.
“Tell her hi for me. How’s Samael?”
“He’s fine. Busy as always.”
“Is he still the Angel of Death?”
“No,” says Mr. Muninn. “He lost that job when he loaned you the knife that severs souls from their bodies.”
“Oh yeah. It was nice of him. That knife sure came in handy Downtown.”
“I’m sure it did.”
I want to look at the stars, but the roof of the shelter is in the way.
“What’s it like these days, being God and Lucifer at the same time?”
He picks a thread off the knee of his pants.
“I’m feeling spread thin. Endless war in one place. Endless suffering and confusion in the other. That’s another reason I thought you might come with me. Perhaps you’d consider taking over Hell for a while. Nothing permanent. Just while I sort out some things in Heaven.”
I give up on the stars and look at him.
“I was a terrible Lucifer, remember? What about Samael? He’s too smart to take the job, isn’t he?”
Mr. Muninn adjusts his ass on the uncomfortable seat.
“I thought about asking him but decided against it. He’s a good boy. But a bit rash sometimes.”
“Yeah. He’d get bored and start a whole new war with someone.”
“You could rule Hell with Alice,” he says. “I’m sure she’d agree to accompany you.”
“Now you’re just making me mad. I’m not dragging Alice to Hell and you’re a bastard for dangling her in front of me.”
“It was just a passing thought.”
“I bet spiders were a passing thought too and look how that turned out.”
Mr. Muninn doesn’t say anything. He knows there’s no excuse for spiders.
I turn and look at him hard.