‘Thanks. Are we …?’
‘Justin thought we could drop the role play for the first course and get back into it during dessert. Pretty harsh on the old digestive system otherwise.’
‘I was just thinking that.’
I allowed myself to breathe in the heavenly aroma of the food. My appetite returned. This sex-play stuff was like magic. Powerful, psychic enchantment.
As we ate our casserole, we chatted about work and kink.
I hadn’t been able to tell my guests that I was a schoolteacher - I feared the response it evoked in people and besides, I felt the need to keep my new friends at arm’s length, at least initially. Self-preservation of a sort.
But they couldn’t fail to notice the upright piano in the corner of the room, so I told them I gave private music lessons.
‘Are you like James Mason in that movie?’
I laughed.
‘Seventh Veil? I can’t tell you how often I’ve watched that. He’s so exquisitely cruel in it. I longed for a piano teacher like him – I was warped even as a youngster. But instead I had a lovely kind old lady. The disappointments of life, eh?’
Justin and Maz smiled sympathetically.
‘You always knew you were kinky?’ Maz asked.
‘I think so. Flipped through my Enid Blytons for the spanking scenes, felt funny when people got tied up on television, all of that. I don’t know why. I tend to think it’s either innate or something that happens in the wiring long before we know about it.’
‘It’d be interesting to find out,’ said Justin with a nod. ‘I suppose the psychologists are working on it as we speak.’
‘I wish they’d come up with a conclusion,’ added Maz. ‘I wish I didn’t feel the need to keep this under wraps. It’s not something I chose – it chose me.’
My eyes filled with tears.
‘Oh, sweetie,’ said Maz, putting out a hand and patting mine. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Yeah, fine.’ I choked them back. ‘Just… It’s weird … and wonderful to know I’m not the only person who feels this way.’
‘You’re welcome, hon,’ she said. Then she turned to Justin. ‘We could do a piano teacher scene sometime. How awesome would that be?’
‘Oh, I’d love that!’ I said. ‘Why didn’t I think of that before?’
‘We’ve got all the time in the world,’ said Justin, laying down his knife and fork. ‘We can play every scene you ever imagined.’
‘Then you’re going to need all the time in the world.’
All this amicability and bonhomie was forgotten at the advent of the summer berries with their frosting of confectioner’s sugar. The thump of the accompanying jug of cream on to the table was like the knell of doom.
Justin pushed his glasses back up his nose, and Maz went from vibrant to muted in the time it took for me to pour. Switch was a good word for her. She seemed able to turn it on and off at will.
I sat down and pushed some blueberries around in the cream with my spoon.
‘May I ask, sir,’ I faltered, daring to eye Justin from under my drooping brow, ‘what you mean to do?’
‘I mean to eat my pudding,’ said Justin severely. ‘How about you?’
‘No, I mean to me. What do you mean to do to me?’
‘So you accept that you deserve punishment?’
‘No! I didn’t do anything! I didn’t steal the money. I bought a new fan, like I said …’ My words were cutting no ice. I wondered about wheeling out the tears, but I wasn’t great at emotional scenes, so I simply pouted and tapped my spoon on the side of my bowl in a rebellious manner.