‘So, me minding my Ps and Qs will get people to pay for my paintings? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Something like that.’
‘What about the wild men of rock ’n’ roll? People still buy their records. Deano Diamond, for instance.’ He gave Jenna a hard look.
‘Deano’s wild man image was pretty carefully cultivated,’ admitted Jenna. ‘If he ever trashed a hotel room, we’d always signed a contract with the hotel, promising in advance to pay for all the damage. That interview where he swore at the reporter and made that speech about Iraq? Staged.’
‘You are fucking kidding me?’ Jason’s eyes almost popped.
‘No, I’m afraid not. Deano’s as mild-mannered as they come, when he isn’t performing for the cameras. Sorry.’
‘Perhaps that’s something to work on,’ suggested Georgina. ‘Less of the fucking. It’s OK on a late-night show but wouldn’t go down well on Newsround.’
‘I’m not going to be on Newsround.’
‘Are you sure about that?’
‘I’m going to be on Newsround?’ Jason seemed delighted by the idea.
‘It’s possible,’ said Jenna. ‘We need to make sure you have broad appeal. An inspiration for the children as well as an enfant terrible for the art world.’
‘A tall order,’ noted Georgina. ‘But we can try. Now, let’s start with posture, shall we? Would you mind standing up?’
Jason put down his coffee cup and rose to his feet.
‘You don’t quite know what to do with all your height, do you?’ said Georgina, after looking him up and down for a while. ‘You’re slouching. Do you feel awkward, being the tallest person in the room most of the time?’
He shrugged. ‘Dunno. I never really think about it. But yeah, as a teenager I felt a bit weird about it. It all happened too quick. I was a squeaky shortarse one day and this great big thing the next.’
‘So you shot up and weren’t really sure what to do with all the extra bits of arm and leg?’ suggested Georgina.
‘Yeah.’
‘And since then, you’ve compensated for your height by slouching, slumping your shoulders, bowing your head? Well, I’ve got good news for you, Mr Watson. You can stand tall. You just need to get into some good habits.’
He was already putting back his shoulders, a little stung, it seemed, by Georgina’s description of his stance. He unbent his knees, straightened his spine, thrust up his chin.
‘There, now we can see all of you,’ she said. ‘But you’re very stiff. The trick is to find a way of standing and moving that shows off your figure to best advantage, without looking as if you’re on a parade ground. Do you play any sports, Mr Watson?’
‘Call me Jason,’ he said. ‘And no. I do some gym stuff now and again, if I can be arsed.’
‘Gym stuff’s all well and good, but I’m thinking about whether you ought to take up cricket.’
‘Cricket?’ he scoffed. ‘That’s a posh boys’ game.’
‘Don’t let your prejudices blind you,’ cautioned Georgina. ‘Besides, I thought Nottinghamshire had a very good cricket team.’
‘I wouldn’t know.’
‘There is a cricket club in Bledburn,’ said Jenna. ‘Over on the other side of town from the estate. By the lakes.’
‘Well, then, perhaps you could think of joining? You see, cricket is all about good posture. Using every part of your body, making sure you know what you’re doing with your arms and legs. I do recommend it, especially for you. Your height will be handy for spin bowling. Give it a try.’
‘I might,’ he grunted.
‘Now, let’s work on your expression and body language. I’m going to go through a number of role-play situations with you. Number one, you are at a gallery exhibition of your work, and I’m a stranger approaching you to talk about it. Bear in mind, I could be a potential buyer or a journalist or just an interested art student. I could even be a woman trying to get you into bed! You don’t know who I am, or what my agenda is. So. Are you ready?’
‘I think so.’ He picked up his coffee then put it down. ‘Not really. I feel like a dick.