Poles Apart

He snorted when I said the word ‘visits’. “You think I’m leaving her in this shitty little flat with a mother who can barely afford to support her? You think that’s fair on her, being raised like a fucking pauper?” He sneered at me distastefully.

Anger took over as the dominant emotion in my body, so I shoved his chest as hard as I could and glared at him. How dare he insinuate I wasn’t giving her everything she needed! Sure, it was hard most of the time and we’d probably never have the money for laptops or iPods when she was older, but I loved her more than anything and I would give her everything she needed. Material things didn’t matter as long as a child was loved, happy and healthy.

“You stupid prick! Don’t you dare insinuate I’m not looking after my daughter properly!” I screamed, shoving on his chest again.

He snorted. “Emma, you can probably just about pay your rent each month and go to university. How can you give her everything she needs? What about when she needs a school trip or something and you don’t have the money. Are you gonna pull extra nights at the club? What happens when you fall short on the rent one month? Gonna sell your body in the backroom? You think she’ll thank you when she finds out her mother is a whore who sells herself?” he asked spitefully.

Before I could stop myself, I drew back my hand and slapped his face as hard as I could. His head whipped to the side and instantly my hand stung and burned. “Well, a whore who sells herself was good enough for her prick of a father!” I screamed. How does this boy always manage to make me feel dirty, cheap and nasty? He looked back at me, his eyes softening as if he knew he went too far. But it was too late. I wasn’t going to let him make me feel dirty anymore; that was the last time. The way he’d said it just to hurt me, I never thought Carson would ever do that. “Get out,” I growled through my teeth.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said sternly, his jaw clenching. I noticed with some small measure of satisfaction that his cheek was turning red where I’d struck him.

“Get the hell out before I call the police in here to remove you!” I ordered, defiantly crossing my arms over my chest.

He laughed and stepped closer to me, reaching out and stroking one finger across my cheek. “Oh, sweetheart, you really think the police are going to do something a lap dancer tells them to do, over me?” he asked, his voice teasing and mocking.

I swallowed loudly and looked at him with as much hate as I could muster. I tried not to look into his eyes because I knew my resolve would waiver as soon as I looked into those baby-blues I loved so much. “Get out,” I repeated.

He leant in closer to me, gripping my chin and forcing me to meet his eyes. “Go pack a bag, we’re leaving. No daughter of mine is going to live in a place like this. Pack your stuff, enough for a couple of days, and I’ll get people to come and pack up the rest,” he stated coldly. He released my chin and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest, his face hard and determined.

My mouth popped open in shock. Did he honestly think I was going to let him take her from me? My mind started spinning through thoughts of how I could pick up Sasha from Lucie’s and leave. There was no way I was letting him take her from me. My credit card would get us far away from here, and if I had to then I’d crawl to my parents for help. I couldn’t lose the most important thing in my life. I couldn’t let him take her; she was my everything.

“Carson, don’t do this! I’ll let you see her whenever you want, I promise, but I won’t let you take her from me.” I looked at him warningly. The only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack was the fact he didn’t know where Lucie lived. If I needed to, I could call Rory, tell him to take Sasha and get on a train and go as far away as he could, and then I could go and meet him.

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “What are you talking about? I’m not taking her away from you.”

Now I was confused. “But you said pack a bag,” I said weakly. The urge to run to collect my baby was making my legs twitch and my hands wring together anxiously.

Understanding suddenly crossed his face and he rolled his eyes, looking a little bored. “Stop being stupid. I meant both of you, and Rory, too. Go pack your stuff up. Now.”

As his words sank in, the anger was back. He seriously thought he could just waltz in and order me around like some kind of prostitute he could buy with a few quid? I raised my chin confidently. I wasn’t going anywhere with him, not after what he just said to me about being a whore.

“Screw you, Carson. I’m not going anywhere with you!”

He smirked at me and I fought hard against the urge to find that sexy. I hated that even after what he’d said and the way he looked at me so distastefully I still couldn’t fight my attraction to him.

“Did I ever tell you my sorry-arse excuse for a father walked out on my mum when I was five? He left her to go be with some slut who was barely out of her teens. My mum struggled every day to bring up me and my two little sisters. I saw what that did to her and how it beat her down over the years, and I hated my father so much for it. Every time I saw my mum cry, every time I saw her look at something in a shop that she wanted but couldn’t afford, every time I saw her put on a fake smile while she tried her best but fell short, it made me hate my father a little bit more. I refuse to have my daughter feel like that about me. So pack a sodding bag, Emma. I’m not letting my daughter grow up to be a bastard like I was. I don’t give a shit what you want. You, Sasha and Rory are coming to live with me, and you and I… we’re getting married.”