The Man Who Has No Love (Soulless 3)

I stayed by the door even though I would have loved to crawl into his bed right now. I didn’t even want sex. I just wanted to be naked with him, to feel our bodies wrapped together, to sleep beside him, watch him breathe. I didn’t help myself to a seat at his dining table or linger. If all I got was the occasional conversation with him, that was fine with me. “Let me know if you need anything else.” I turned back to the door.

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?”

I stilled at the question, my heart immediately racing more than it already was. I slowly turned back to him, surprised he’d asked me. He’d fixed the parameters of my job so I could publicly date him without consequence, so I didn’t have to hide anything anymore. It was wonderful, not to reject him like I used to. “I’d love that.”

“I’ll pick you up in a few hours.”

It was such a drive to Brooklyn during rush hour, and by the time he got there, drove me back here for dinner, and then dropped me off again…it was just a terrible use of time. “How about we just leave straight from the lobby?”

“You working late tonight?”

“No. It’s just really out of the way.”

He cocked an eyebrow.

“I moved to Brooklyn,” I explained.

He still looked confused. “Why?”

“After I lost my job, I couldn’t afford my apartment…”

His eyes fell, like he felt terrible even though it wasn’t his fault.

“It’s fine. I like my place. It’s just out of the way now.” That was a lie. I hated that shithole. The only room in the apartment with a door was the bathroom, but the rest of it was just a big open space, all my furniture stuffed into a four-hundred-square foot room. My old apartment was gone and I couldn’t move back, so I was stuck with it for a while. But nice apartments were hard to come by, and it would take months to find a new one…even with my connections.

Deacon stared at me like he needed more time to digest that. “I didn’t know they let you go until a month after it happened. If I’d known…I would have done something about it much sooner.”

I had been surprised he hadn’t come to my rescue since that was the kind of man he was. His silence had made me believe he was really livid with me, that he would never forgive me for what I’d done. And then when he got my job back, I was confused why it took so long. Now, I understood. “It’s not your fault, Deacon.”

“I just…wouldn’t have let you move to Brooklyn.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Brooklyn, Deacon.” There were nice apartments there. I just couldn’t afford one. I had been about to be homeless, so I just took what I could get. It wasn’t in a nice area, so I always wore my baggy coat and kept my hood up when I walked from the subway to my apartment.

“How do you get home every day?”

“I take the subway.”

He sighed in disappointment.

I didn’t want to spend our time talking about this. “Dinner sounds great. I’ll be in the lobby.”

It took him a while to agree to it, because his thoughts were elsewhere. “I’ll drive you home afterward.”

Oh no. “You don’t have to do that, Deacon. Really.”

“I’m not letting the woman I love take the fucking subway at ten at night.” Pissed off, he turned and walked away.

I just got him back, and I was already making him angry.

I had money in my bank account again, so I left to grab something to change into so I wouldn’t have to wear my work outfit to dinner. I wanted to look nice, wanted him to look at me the way he used to.

I found a black designer dress on clearance and got a nice jacket to go with it. My heels were already black, so I would be able to reuse those. Thankfully, I always retouched my makeup every few hours at work, so I had that stuff with me.

By the time he picked me up, I was ready to go, wearing a short black dress and black jacket with my heels, my makeup fresh. I wasn’t trying to get laid, but if that’s where it went…I wouldn’t say no.

I rose to my feet when he approached the desk. “Hey.”

He looked me up and down like he couldn’t stop himself. His eyes lingered on my legs, the tightness of my jacket as it hugged my waist, the visibility of my cleavage at the top of my dress. Speechless, he just stared at me and eventually cleared his throat. Then he nodded to the entryway, where his driver was waiting.

Yes.

I walked beside him, my heels tapping against the floor, my heart revving like an engine.