The Man Who Has No Love (Soulless 3)

Two

Deacon

I was sitting at my desk when my phone rang.

It was Valerie.

We’d made a bit of progress, but the underlying resentment would never fade. It would take a long time for that pain to drop from my stomach, not to feel like shit every time I saw her name or her face. Did that kind of rage ever go away? Did you ever really move on after someone made you miserable for so long?

I answered. “Hey, Valerie.”

“Hey, Deacon,” she said with a sigh. “So, are we going to talk about this?”

I’d hoped Cleo could handle it for me. But I was the one who had been married to her…unfortunately. “Yes, Cleo told me you want to move in to my building.”

“And I haven’t gotten a response.”

“It’s fine, Valerie.” I tried to focus on the positive side of it, the fact that Derek would be just an elevator ride away, that I would be able to take him to school sometimes, that I could even pick him up on my way home. If he ever needed something, it would be convenient for Cleo to swing by and bring him the notebook he’d left behind. It would be the perfect way for us to be parents to Derek, to see him as much as we wanted. Maybe Valerie and I could even become friends, have dinner sometimes, and Derek could see that we were still a family even if we didn’t live together anymore. But the skeptical side of me told me not to be too optimistic.

“Fine?” she asked. “That’s all you have to say about it?”

We were doing this again? “I’d prefer to have my own space, but if that’s what you want, then that’s fine. It would be nice to have Derek such a short distance away.”

“And it’ll be nice to have a whole staff to take care of me. It’ll be nice not to have to worry about anything.”

Like she worried about anything now.

“You have to give me a reason to move all the way over there, and that’s what I want.”

And Derek didn’t fit into that equation at all? “That’s fine, Valerie.”

“Stop saying that.”

“What?”

“Fine. You always say it, and it’s annoying.”

Cleo didn’t have a problem with it. “What do you want me to say, Valerie? I said you could live in my building. I’m excited that I’ll get to see our son all the time, that he’ll be going to one of the best schools in the country, that he’ll grow up in the greatest city on earth.”

“Are you excited that you and I might be able to grow our relationship, being so close together?”

She was the last thing on my mind. “As friends…yes.” Cleo and I had to continue to sneak around and lie because Valerie would probably throw a fit if she knew. So, I was even more annoyed by her presence. But we had to come clean eventually, and I didn’t care how pissed off it made Valerie. I’d never been more dedicated to a woman in my life. Derek was my first priority, my work had been the second, but Cleo quickly took second place and pushed my research to third…like she was family. How was I supposed to really live my life without being honest to the world about my relationship? I wanted Derek to know what she meant to me because I didn’t want to lie to him.

Valerie was clearly disappointed by that answer but didn’t voice it. “I’m going to start the moving process, ship out my stuff ahead of time. Then we’ll fly out there.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” I felt a jolt of excitement in my chest when I realized Derek was really coming. There wouldn’t be months in between our visits, only a few weeks of quality time together here and there. I wouldn’t have to observe my son’s life through pictures Valerie sent me. I’d get to watch my little boy grow into a man…a man I’d be deeply proud of.

“Alright. Bye, Deacon.”

“Wait.”

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to Derek?” I hadn’t spoken to him about the news.

“Hold on.” She pulled the phone away and yelled into the distance. “Derek! Your dad wants to talk to you.”

Derek’s incoherent yell came from somewhere in the background.

I chuckled.

A moment later, he came onto the phone. “Dad!”

I never got tired of hearing him say that, of hearing him say it in that same excited tone. Time would pass quickly, and then he would have a deep voice, saying my name in a different, boring way, the way I addressed my mother, the way I’d addressed my father before he was gone. “Hey, little man.” I wished I could see him, but his voice was enough.

“Mom told me we’re moving in with you!”

I chuckled. “That’s not really accurate. You’re moving in to my building.”