Shoulda Been a Cowboy (Rough Riders 7)

Chuckles broke out.

“No. It was worse having to face Brandt and tell him about Luke. Losing his brother…I never want to go through that. Ever. Jesus.” Cam stopped, afraid he’d start bawling. Domini’s steady grip on his hand encouraged him to go on. “I never realized how hard it must’ve been on you guys, especially in the beginning, when you didn’t know if I was alive or dead. Then I get back here and I’m not the same guy.”

“Believe it or not, none of us are the same guy since you left when you were eighteen,” Cord said. “You’d know that if you weren’t bein’ such a reclusive ass**le.”

Cam winced. “I deserve that and more. Christ. I’m sorry.”

“We’ve all had our bad moments, that’s for damn sure.” Colt flashed him a challenging grin. “So now that all the touchy-feely crap is over…question is: do you need help up?”

Say no. Scream no.

Cam swallowed his pride and his fear. “Yeah. Since I forgot my crutches, that’d be great.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard.”

His brothers carried him to the porch like it was no big deal. He didn’t point out they should’ve carried him to his damn truck so he could go home.

All of a sudden his brothers took off like their boots were on fire. When a sharp gasp sounded, he knew why: his mother stood behind him.

“So, is it worse than you thought?” he asked brusquely, fighting the temptation to cover his limb.

“No. The worst part was not knowing what it looked like.”

Cam tipped his head back. Tears rolled from the corners of his mother’s eyes. Shit. “Ma. Don’t—”

“Don’t you tell me how to react when I see my boy’s blown-off leg for the first time, don’t even try, Cameron West McKay.”

He bit his tongue, letting her to harangue him because he deserved it.

“After they told us you were gonna live through your injuries, I’ll admit after the immediate feeling of relief, I was pissed off at you.”

“Caro…” his dad warned.

She waved him off. “I thought if you would’ve stayed here on the ranch, being a cowboy like your brothers, that this wouldn’t have happened to you.

“But then I think of poor Dag. And now Luke…and what their families—what our family is going through and how it’s ripping them apart on so many levels. Stupid accidents happen everywhere. All the time. No one is immune. No one is ever really safe.” A small sob escaped. “I realized I can’t protect you any more now than when you were my sweet baby boy who was determined to run before you could even walk.”

“Ma.”

“But it doesn’t change the fact I hate that you’re embarrassed about your stump. I hate you don’t understand how I see that stump—not as not a flaw, but a miracle.” She reached for Cam’s hand. “You don’t want to hear this, but I’ll say it anyway. When you went missing…” Her voice cracked. “That was the worst week of my life. Or so I thought.”

Cam frowned.

“But in some ways, it’s been harder having you living in Sundance. When you were in the army, you had an excuse for not being here. I could tell myself you would be with us if you could. Now that you live ten miles away and we still don’t see you, I know it’s your choice to stay away. The lie no longer works and that’s what hurts the most.”

“I never meant to hurt any of you.”

“But you did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. And I forgive you even when I still want to paddle your butt.” She kissed his forehead. “But it needed to be said.”

He owed her more than a perfunctory I’m sorry. He owed his entire family more than that.

“Being kicked around by my family when I’ve been down today has been a good thing, believe it or not.” He smiled at Domini. “I don’t want to go back to being the man I was because some changes are for the better.”

“That’s good to hear and I’m happy for you, son. Let us share in your happiness, okay? Let us get to know the different man you’ve become.”

Cam nodded.

“I meant it when I said you’re welcome at our house any time, Carolyn,” Domini said. “You too, Carson.”

Carolyn squeezed their joined hands. “That means a lot. Cameron’s been back in Wyoming for a while but it took you to really bring him home to us. Thank you.”

His dad just patted his shoulder and then Domini’s. Twice. Then he slipped his arm around his mother’s waist and murmured to her as they walked off by themselves.

As soon as his folks were gone, the screen door slammed.

Keely wrapped her arms around Domini from behind, setting her chin on Domini’s shoulder. “Relax, I’m not gonna choke you for ordering me away from my own brother. I deserved it. I just wanted to ask if you’re glad you took my naked advice?”

Domini blushed when Cam lifted an eyebrow at her. “Very glad. The best advice I ever had.”

“Good, because I’ll be honest, Domini, I wasn’t sure if you were…assertive enough to handle my tough-as-nails brother.”

Sometimes his sister had the tact of an ape. “Keely, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“No, it’s okay, Cam, let her finish,” Domini said, running her hand down his forearm.

“See? That’s why you two fit so perfectly.” Keely leaned into Domini. “You’re quiet and sweet, but that’s deceiving because you have an inner core of pure steel. I always thought Cam would need a woman who is as hardheaded and tenacious as he is. But Cam needs someone like you, a woman who gives him a soft place to land as well as quiet strength. You understand him in ways none of us ever have.” Keely’s eyes filled with tears and Cam felt himself tearing up. “I will always be grateful to you for that. And I am so happy you found each other.”

Domini murmured in Ukrainian.

“What? Are you swearing at me after I spilled my guts?” Keely demanded.

She laughed. “No, I just remembered a Ukrainian proverb: she who weeps with joy for others will find joy in return.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get married. Being around these McKay males, I have very high standards for a man and no man has ever come close.”

Anton and Gracie bounded over.

“I wouldn’t mind having kids though. Just girls.” She smirked. “You guys gonna join the McKay baby parade soon?”