The Boy Who Has No Faith (Soulless 5)

Camille studied me for a while, my words making her quiet, which was saying something because she never stopped talking. “But…you used to want those things.” She stared at me hesitantly, like she was afraid she would ignite my fury.

The friends and acquaintances I’d made later in life never questioned my bachelorhood because they didn’t know about the stupid mistake I’d made when I wasn’t even old enough to drink. It was nice because they accepted me as exactly as I was. But my childhood friends constantly compared me to the boy I was ten years ago, when I wasn’t even remotely the same person, which was how it should be. If you were exactly the same person at thirty as you were at twenty, then you weren’t living life to the fullest. You weren’t growing through your experiences. You were just…standing still. “I’m really tired of this still coming up, ten years later. I was just a dumb kid who made a dumb mistake. It doesn’t mean anything. It has nothing to do with my choices now. Both of you need to drop this and move on. You think I’m the one who hasn’t moved on? You guys are the ones who haven’t.”

Camille launched into another argument. “Then why haven’t you been in a relationship since Tabitha—”

“Baby, stop.” Ryan gently pulled her back to the chair. “He’s right. We need to accept him as he is instead of projecting our opinions onto the way he should live his life.” He turned back to me. “That’s the last time we’ll bring it up.”

Thank fucking god. “I appreciate that, Ryan.”

Camille’s gaze dropped, like she had more to say but would keep it bottled inside.

Ryan must have read her look because he said, “I think the reason Camille is so passionate about it is because she wants you to be happy. As do I. So, sometimes we go overboard because that’s all we want. But obviously, you’re happy, so it doesn’t matter.”

I gave another nod, but I couldn’t bring myself to say I was happy…because I wasn’t.

Our dinner was served shortly afterward, and then Ryan changed the subject. “How is it working out with your assistant?”

I grabbed my silverware and cut into my steak. “It was rough in the beginning, but I’ve come to accept her.”

“Accept her?” Camille asked. “You have someone waiting on you, at your beck and call. What’s the difficulty in accepting that? If I had…”

A couple walked past our table to their table twenty feet away. I glanced as they passed, but the only reason I looked again was because the woman looked familiar, even from the back. She was in a black cocktail dress, her entire back completely exposed because it hung so low, barely covering her ass. She walked in five-inch heels, like she did it every single day…because she did.

I watched the guy take advantage of the opportunity to look at her backside. He was taller than her, even in her heels, muscular. I never saw his face, but he seemed like a good-looking guy.

He pulled out her chair so she could take a seat.

That was when I got a look at her face.

Emerson.

Her brown hair was curled but pinned back from her face in a loose manner; that way, her back could be exposed without anything getting in the way. Her nice body had never been put on such display before, and her beautiful skin covered small muscles that she used to keep perfect poise. Her makeup was heavier than usual, sultry and smoky, and the dark color of her lipstick wasn’t the shade she wore to work.

It made me realize that she purposely presented herself at work in a way that was professional, and she accomplished that by dimming down her natural sex appeal. She didn’t want to be distracting. She wanted to be taken seriously, and that would be impossible to do if she looked like this on the job.

I hadn’t taken my eyes off her once.

She gave her a date a nice smile, as if he’d given her a compliment on her appearance.

The waitress came over and presented the menus, and they both looked at the selections before the guy ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Conversations took place, back and forth, and he must have said something she liked because she reached her arm forward and placed her hand on his arm, looking at him through those thick lashes…looking so confident and sexy as she did it. Her nails were painted black, a shade they never were when she was at work with me.

She’d said she didn’t have a boyfriend, so this must be some guy she was seeing. Maybe it was casual. If it was, it made the whole scene extremely sexy. Watching this woman have this kind of confidence, putting herself out there and getting what she wanted, giving out signs that she wanted this guy to please her after he bought her dinner.