The Boy Who Has No Faith (Soulless 5)

I shouldn’t have read every entry and then composed my own.

I knew that one night with Derek Hamilton wouldn’t be enough, and it would lead to my heartbreak and then unemployment. He was a playboy, a terminal bachelor, and it would never go anywhere.

And one night wouldn’t be enough for me, not if I was this hurt.

After I took a deep breath and cleared my mind, I let it go.

This hard lesson was exactly what I needed.

And it set me free.

Twenty-Six

Derek

I took the Bugatti out for a drive since I hadn’t used it in a month.

A personal driver made it obsolete.

I left New York, headed into Connecticut, and then the countryside. When the trees became thick and the cars few, I knew I was getting close. I approached the private gate, entered my passcode, and then drove down the quiet streets until I reached the second gate, behind which the cabin was concealed by the solid doors. I entered my passcode again then drove through, surrounded by oaks and pines.

I rolled down my windows and let the fresh air come through.

Instantly, I was taken back to my childhood.

It used to be my favorite place in the world.

Still was.

My parents’ car was there because they drove up on Friday afternoons.

I was just there for the day.

I let myself inside and looked through the back door to see them sitting together in their lounge chairs.

My mom was relaxed in her chair, leaned back, and her face was turned to my father.

He was leaned forward slightly, looking into her face with an affectionate smile on his lips, like he was about to kiss her.

And then he did kiss her.

Her hand moved around the back of his neck, and the kiss lasted a while.

That was when I turned away and helped myself to a beer. There were salmon burgers on the counter, because my dad was lame and didn’t eat beef unless it was a special occasion. I’d never been a fan of fish, but since my parents practically shoved it down my throat as a child, I’d acquired the taste as an adult.

I made my burger with a little tartar sauce and all the produce before I carried it out the back door.

Thankfully, the make-out session was over.

Dad turned around at the sound of the door. “Hey, little man.”

Mom was out of her chair so fast, like if she didn’t move quick enough, she might miss me. “Honey.” She saw me more often than Dad because she stopped by my place when she was nearby, but she acted like she saw me less. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, squeezing me for a long time as if it’d been years since we’d seen each other.

I returned her embrace, my chin on her head. “Mom, you okay?”

“Yes.” She continued to squeeze. “I just love you so much.” She pulled away and cupped my face before she kissed my cheek, her eyes so affectionate it looked like she might burst into tears.

There was no better feeling than the love of a parent. Knowing my own mother had used me as a pawn in a sick game had made me form a strong connection to Cleo, because she chose to love me. And she loved me with everything she had, like I was her son even though we shared no DNA at all. She made up for the loss that was permanent in my soul, and without her…I wasn’t sure how I would have turned out. “I love you too, Mom.” I never had to wonder if she preferred Dex and Daisy to me since they were her biological kids, because she treated us exactly the same.

She stepped aside hesitantly, like there was more to her affection than met the eye, but she refused to share it.

My dad moved in next. “Sorry about the burgers.”

“You told me we were grilling.”

“And those fillets were cooked on the grill.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Dad. Have a real burger once in a while.”

He smiled before he embraced me, giving me a hard pat on the back that was masculine, but then a kiss on the forehead that made me feel like a boy who couldn’t wait to get on the boat and go fishing. “You look good.” He pulled away and looked me up and down. “Your arms are bigger every time I see you.”

“Racking more weight.”

He patted my shoulder. “Just be careful.”

“Have a seat.” Mom pulled up a chair so I could sit beside them.

I sat down with my beer and lunch and started to eat, looking at the beautiful lake, the reflections in the still water. “No Dex and Daisy?”

“Dex has a surgical rotation today,” Dad said. “And Daisy said she’s busy.”

“And she gave no further explanation?” I teased.

Dad chuckled. “Never does.”

I continued to eat. “How are you guys?”