The Boy Who Has No Faith (Soulless 5)

“Did I say I was done?”

I sighed.

“And I wasn’t dating twenty-three-year-olds either.”

“How do you even know that?” I snapped. “It’s really none of your business, Dad.”

He sighed, his nostrils flaring. “I know it’s not, Derek. But with the way the internet is now, it’s easy for those things to pop up. For the first few years, I knew you were just behaving like all young men behave. But the older you get, the less it changes. I know it was a long time ago—”

I wasn’t talking about this anymore. “Stop with the Tabitha thing. That has nothing to do with this—”

“You’ve never been the same, Derek. And then with Valerie and the rocket… I feel like you’ve been breaking off into pieces, and I’m worried there won’t be anything left soon. You won’t let anyone in, and I need you to let people in again.”

I stared at the lake and kept my silence.

“Derek.”

A few nights ago, I’d felt emptiness…and that was the first time I’d felt that way in as long as I could remember. Because of Emerson’s position, she was able to get close to me in a way no one else ever could. It made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a really long time. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t even romance. It was just…a connection to another person.

And I hadn’t felt that way since I was young.

I’d thought that part of me had died.

I’d thought I was just attracted to her physically, but after caring about her feelings and being disappointed with that one-night stand, I wasn’t so sure.

I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

Dad continued to stare at me, like he knew I was thinking and gave me the chance to finish.

I eventually found my response. “I understand what you’re saying…and I’ll consider it.”