The Anti-Boyfriend

“Can I go in there with you when you wake her?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

We made small talk in the living room for as long as I could stand before I decided to wake Sunny up early, against my better judgment.

Charles followed me into her room.

I lifted Sunny out of the crib. It took her several seconds to blink her eyes fully open. When she noticed Charles standing there, she had no reaction.

“Hi, beautiful girl,” he said, seeming in awe of her.

Sunny continued to look at him with ambivalence. Maybe she could sense the tension.

“I’m Charles,” he said. “And I’m so very sorry I haven’t come by to see you sooner. More than you can ever imagine.” He seemed a little choked up.

Was it genuine? Probably. Although it was still too little too late for me to forget everything he’d done—or hadn’t done—up until this point. I wouldn’t forget, but I would work on forgiving. I did believe he cared for her, despite everything. And I did believe he regretted how he’d handled things.

Charles followed us back out to the living room. We sat in silence as he watched Sunny play with her toys on the floor, which now included the giant, stuffed bear he’d brought.

“I asked you something once before and you dismissed it. So I’ll ask again. Who was that man here with Sunny the night of the gala?” he asked suddenly.

My chest tightened. “I still don’t believe that’s any of your business.”

“I know it’s not. I’m just curious.”

“He was an ex-boyfriend,” I admitted.

“Ex? What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Charles nodded, not pushing the issue. We resumed watching Sunny together in silence. She babbled and squealed as she tried to communicate with the giant bear.

He rubbed his hands together and turned to me. “What can I do to make things better between us? I know I’ve lost all chance of ever having you as a lover again. But goddamnit, Carys, I need to rectify the mistakes I’ve made. I want to get to the point where we can be civil, friends, even. I know that may be a long shot, but a man can dream.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “Carys, when we met, I was so smitten with you. I’m not sure if you realize how badly I had it back then. I admired your beauty and elegance long before you were ever injured and working with me. My attraction to you was something I had to keep secret because I was a married man. Then when Violet and I separated, that gave me a window to finally pursue you. I never felt like I deserved you. But I loved you. I truly did—still do. There was only one thing I loved more—my children. More and more, I saw how difficult the impending divorce was on them. I started to reconsider whether I was making the right decision in leaving my family. I convinced myself getting back together with Violet was the right idea when it wasn’t. I chickened out when it came to putting my needs above others. At that time, of course, I didn’t know you were pregnant. By the time I did find out, I’d already made the decision to try to save my family. And then she started threatening me. I—”

“I already know why you—”

“Please, let me finish,” he interrupted.

I let out an exasperated breath.

“When Violet found out about your pregnancy, she threatened to make it so I never saw Talia and Xavier again unless I abandoned you and relinquished my rights as a father to Sunny. I felt like I had to make a choice between hurting the children I knew, or the one I’d never met. My decision was a knee-jerk reaction out of fear. I’m ashamed of what I did to you. And if I have to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I will.”

I’d known Violet was against the kids finding out about Sunny but never realized she’d actually used the children to threaten Charles. Still, whether that knowledge would change things remained to be seen. “I don’t know what to say. I really don’t. I’ve completely written you off as a part of my life or Sunny’s life.”

“And I deserve every bit of that.” He paused a moment. “I told Talia and Xavier about Sunny.”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“It was against Violet’s wishes, but I’m done being blackmailed.”

“You always said you thought they were too young to understand.”

“They are. But I came to the conclusion that the longer I kept it from them, the more of a shock it would be, and the less time they would have with their sister.”

Sister? I couldn’t believe he was using that term. “You do realize you’re not on her birth certificate, so technically whether she’s their sister is debatable.”