Forbidden Desire

Thankfully mom took the news much better than I’d expected. Her only interest was in us being safe when we make love, something I don’t dare tell her the truth about at this point. I’ve long had to ask myself what I’d do if we slip up because except for a few times, in the beginning, Tyler hasn’t used a condom.

Then there’s her fear of my ending up like her. I could tell her straight off the bat that Tyler and dad are almost two completely different species. The strengths I see in Tyler are sorely lacking in the dad I’d once loved and admired. In my gut, I don’t think he’d ever treat me the way dad had treated her, but of course, that wasn’t enough to quell her fears.

I don’t know why; it’s not something I can put into words; it’s just a feeling I have that doesn’t allow me to doubt him. I, too, have my own fears that crop up from time to time but greater than those fears is the realization that I can’t live without him. Just the thought of us not being together makes me lose my breath.

At this moment, though, I’m thinking of ways to end his. Dinner and family hour last night had been nail-bitingly cringe-worthy, but this breakfast is about to make me lose it. Tyler, the ass, had left his usual place across from mine to sit next to me with his arm along the top of my chair. I thought the cook was going to have a heart attack when she brought the platters of eggs and bacon to the table and saw him sitting like that with his fingers playing with the ends of my hair.

Then there was his dad who seemed to have a never-ending cache of innuendos under his belt. Mom seemed more relaxed than she did the night before, but it’s going to take me a while. Thank goodness no one brought up any embarrassing conversation, and we just talked like we normally do about mundane things, except for Eric’s little jolts every once in a while. He kept referencing Alabama, which went right over my head until Tyler reminded him that we weren’t cousins and not even related by blood.

I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and head to school, or so I thought until we got there. Everything was the same, the same groups of kids sectioned off in cliques as they waited for the day to begin. “Hold it!” I had my hand on the door about to get out when he stopped me. I should’ve known something was up when he held my hand all the way here, but when he got out and walked around to open my door for me, all I could think about was all the eyes I was sure were on us.

I didn’t look around when I got out, not that I could, I didn’t have time. As soon as I got out, and the door was closed behind me, I found myself being pressed up against the closed door with his lips on mine. “Tyler… Oh my… this is….” I mumbled as soon as he lifted his head. I can already hear the questions.

“The sooner they know, the better, don’t you think? What are you so worried about anyway? If you could live through that breakfast and dinner with dad, you can endure anything any of these idiots throw at you. Come on.”

He held my hand firmly in his and walked towards Paul. “You can stay with me this morning. I’ll come and get you between classes because I know these jackals are going to be all over you. You don’t have to tell them shit if you don’t want to. Tell them to fuck off or come see me.” Geez!

True to his word, he was there at the end of each class to walk me to the next, and I used the excuse of class in session to ignore the many questions and stares that came my way throughout the rest of the morning. Lunch in the cafeteria was another ordeal, though; there were way too many people focused on our table to the point that I could barely eat my salad. Tyler went on with life, as usual, talking to his friends in between telling me to eat and glaring at anyone who got too close.

“Where’s Sherry?”

“Would you come back here if you were her?” He had a point; I’d almost forgotten about the rumors from the day before in the midst of my own drama.

“So what, she’s never coming back to school again?”

“You do know that shit she tried to pull is illegal, right?”

“Yeah, but we still don’t know how true it is.”

I gave him a searching look, but I got the feeling that he knew I was digging. He’s so smooth and slick that he didn’t give shit away, just shrugged his shoulder and went back to talking to Paul on the other side of him like it had nothing to do with him, and he couldn’t care less.