Cain ( Underworld Mafia Romance 1)

I look at him with wide eyes. “You do?”

That might just be the first real bit of personal information I’ve had from him.

“Well, I had two,” Cain corrects himself. “One of them died.”

And he’s not over it. I can tell from the audible pain in his voice.

I pause as I find myself in awe, not because Cain is in pain but because this might be the first time he’s shown me real emotion. The first chink in his thick armor. This is the first time I’ve seen him actually get affected by something.

The emotion moves my hand to rest on Cain’s knee before I can think.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The words come out of my mouth as I gaze at him.

When Cain turns his head, his ebony eyes gaze back into mine. I see the pain in them, along with a glimmer of loneliness, giving him a look of vulnerability that steals my breath. My heart stops as I feel like I’m seeing him for the first time.

Just like that, all the bitterness and annoyance I’ve been feeling evaporate. All I want now is to drown in those eyes, to drown in him, with him. And then to save him.

I want him to kiss me. Right now. I want to kiss him.

And more.

I’m about to pull him close when I hear noises outside – a smash and then a clatter. The spell breaks. My hand falls off Cain’s knee as he gets off his stool.

“Must be a branch,” he says. “The storm’s getting worse. I’ll go look for some flashlights.”

Then he’s off. He disappears into the garage.

I stare at my bowl as I try to make sense of what just happened, of what almost happened, of what I wanted to happen.

Do I actually want to have sex with Cain?

But I barely know him. I work with him. And he’s older than me, which means he’s experienced, whereas I’ve never had sex before.

Maybe that’s why all this is a surprise. All this is new.

I’ve never wanted a man before this moment. And I definitely never imagined I’d want one this bad.

Blushing, I finish the rest of my spaghetti in a rush. I drink my water, put my bowl and glass in the sink, and then go to my room before Cain comes back.

Now, I really don’t know how to face him, so I’m going to do what I did earlier – sleep. I’m not so sure how I’ll manage it with the wind howling outside and my body feeling hotter than it ever has, but I’ll try.

~

I wake up from another nightmare.

My heart pounds in my chest, caught in a storm like the one raging outside. I sit up and place a hand over it to try to still it.

This is what I get for telling Cain about the most painful memory in my past. I’ve brought a corpse to life.

I close my eyes and take deep breaths as I wait for the shroud of sleep and the cobwebs of my nightmare to fade. When I open them, I turn my head and see Cain standing by the door, arms crossed over his chest.

How long has he been standing there?

“Are you alright?” Cain asks me.

As he steps forward, I realize he’s not wearing a shirt. Even in the dark – the lights must have gone off – I can see the lines of his chest and the ridges of his abdomen. I swallow.

“Yes.” I look away. “I just had a nightmare.”

“I heard.”

He heard? What? I screamed?

I give him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“It’s fine,” Cain says. “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

Because of the storm? Because he was thinking of his brother? Or is there something else bothering him?

He glances at the door. “I’ll go back to my room. Let me know if you need anything.”

He turns.

“Wait.” The word slips from my lips.

I don’t want him to leave. I want us to pick up where we left off earlier. I wasn’t able to stop him from leaving then, but I can keep him from going now.

Cain turns around. I meet his puzzled gaze.

“Kiss me.”

Maybe it’s because I’m still scared from my nightmare. Maybe it’s because I’m half asleep and my mind isn’t clear. Or maybe it’s because my mind is clearer than ever. But I want him.

I’m done denying my feelings or letting fear hold me back.

I joined the FBI mainly because I wanted to catch monsters like the ones who scarred my childhood. And partly because I wanted to break free of my brothers, yes. But I also did it because I wanted to start living my own life.

Strangely, though, I’ve spent the last few years just working, not living. I’ve hardly thought of myself. Now, I feel like life is catching up to me. In these past few days, I’ve felt more alive than I ever have before.