Beautiful Surrender (Forever 3)

I took another one.

Five excruciatingly long minutes later, I looked at it.

Pink line again.

Shit. Shit shit shit. Shit. Fuck.

My world was coming apart. This can’t be happening.

I frantically examined the box, hoping to find a warning about its inaccuracy.

“Over 99% accurate. Take comfort in knowing your results.”

I stepped out of the bathroom and went to the living room where Riley was sipping a diet coke.

“Riley, I need to ask you something.” I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible for someone who just discovered they were pregnant.

She put her drink down on the coffee table and turned her attention to me. “Sure, what is it?”

“Is it possible to get two false-positives on a pregnancy test?”

“Huh? Why are you . . .” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god. Are you pregnant?”

I tried holding the tears back but they started flowing against my will. “I just took a test and that’s what it said.”

“I thought you were on birth control!”

“I was, I mean, I am. I just—I don’t know how this could have happened.”

“Oh Kris, you know that even the pill isn’t one-hundred percent effective.”

I nodded. “I mean, I knew that as a concept, but I never thought that I’d be the tiny sliver of a percentage that it would fail for!”

Riley studied my face, probably discerning that congratulations weren’t in order. Her tone became serious. “What are you going to do?”

I started crying harder. “I never planned for this. Vincent and I never talked about it. We’ve barely even known each other for two months!”

Riley came to hug me and rub my back. “It’s going to be okay, Kris. You have options. It’s not the end of the world.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Her voice was soft. “Are you considering getting an abortion?”

“I don’t know. What other choice do I have? I’m not ready to be a mom. I thought I’d be into my thirties before I considered having a baby. I don’t even know how Vincent would react if he found out.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Should I?”

“You should. He has a right to know. He is the father right?”

I wiped the tears from my cheek. “Unless my fingers have started magically producing sperm, yes. Vincent’s the only one I’ve had sex with.”

“Okay. How is your relationship with him going? You said you two made up right?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Good. That should make it easier to tell him. Have faith in him, Kris. Didn’t you say he adored his nephew?”

Giselle’s stories about Vincent’s emails in the early morning hours enthusing over activities and programs for Brady ran through my mind. “He does. I think he might actually be too intense about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, his sister made it sound like he’s borderline obsessed with the kid. Sends her emails at two in the morning with camps and stuff his nephew can go to when he’s old enough.”

Riley nodded. “That sounds very sweet. It sounds like he would be a great dad.”

“I don’t know Riley, liking kids is not the same as wanting one of your own.”

“That’s true. He’s a busy CEO and lives a fast-paced lifestyle. But liking kids is certainly a positive sign.”

“Or what if he really does want a child and I don’t? What if I just don’t want to be a mom yet? I could get an abortion and not tell him. Wouldn’t that be easier? If I tell him, and we disagree, this could destroy our relationship. Then it would have been easier just to not tell him, and maybe we can have a baby years from now.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “I think you should think hard about whether you want to get an abortion. My mother had an unplanned pregnancy and almost got an abortion. I’m glad she didn’t, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

I could feel my face grow hot with embarrassment. “Riley, I didn’t know . . .”

“It’s okay. We all have secrets Kristen.” She squeezed my hand. “Just don’t make a quick decision. Think about it. I think I would tell Vincent. If you make this decision by yourself, it’s going to be a strain on your relationship for the rest of the time you’re together. I mean, it’s pretty dishonest.”

She made a good point. If Vincent couldn’t trust me to talk to him about something this important, that said bad things about the health of our relationship as a whole. Still though, it was just so much to deal with. “You don’t think I’m too young to have a child?”

Riley shook her head. “You’re twenty-five. A lot of women have children at that age. When people are as young as we are, typically money is a big concern, but that’s obviously not the case here. You have a great job and Vincent is loaded.”

“That’s part of it though, Riley. I can’t have a baby fathered by my client. That’s beyond scandalous. If I decide to have this baby, my time at Waterbridge-Howser is done.”

“I thought you said they had no policy against it!”

I sighed. “Official policy is one thing. Shoving it in the company’s face by taking maternity leave to have a baby fathered by a client is another. It’s practically proof they got the client because I had sex with him. Other wealth management firms could use that against them every time they make a pitch. The wealth management business is pretty conservative.”

“So they would fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“They might if they could figure out how to get away with it, or they would force me out slowly. It doesn’t matter. If I decide to have this baby, I need to find a new job before it happens. Before I start showing, actually.”

“Wow. That is a lot to handle.”

“It feels like too much. What is Vincent going to say when I drop all these problems on his lap?”

She shook her head. “Talk to him and find out. He’s the CEO of an enormous company, I’m sure he’s used to dealing with complicated situations. If you don’t talk to him about it, I think you’ll regret it later.”

“And if we break up because we can’t work it out?”

“If you guys can’t work through an issue like this together, is the relationship still worth it?”

I took a deep breath. “I guess not. Still though. This is so much.”