She opens her eyes, blinking at me, the tears forming at her lower lid. “You think he doesn’t like me because I’m old? Or ugly? Or is it because I’m fat?”
I lean over and stroke her cheek. “You are not old. You are the opposite of ugly, and you are definitely not fat. He acts like he doesn’t like you because he probably likes you too much. Remember Ricky in the third grade who chased you with a frog because he loved you? This is just the adult version.” I make a mental note to find this fucker and slice his tires. If he fucks with her, that is.
“No way would he go for someone like me. He did say I had a tight ass, though. That means he was looking at it, right?”
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “He was definitely checking you out.” She closes her eyes while I continue talking, “Why wouldn’t he check you out? You’re hot, smart, and you have a tight body and a great smile. Your whole face lights up when you smile. You don’t do that enough. Now if it makes you feel better, I think tomorrow we will make beef vegan soup, minus the beef obviously, but I wonder what we can use to make it brown. I should Google that.” I don’t say another word because her snoring fills the room. I stare at her, hoping that her boss just relaxes before she goes crazy.
Chapter Four
Kaleigh
I didn’t pray hard enough because for the next two weeks it was downhill, with her slipping him Dulcolax and him giving her a porn virus on her computer. She went fucking nuts on that one. No matter how many breathing techniques we tried to center her. But the more she thought about him, the more the vein in her neck started to tick. Till she did the unthinkable. She put itching powder in his pants, as a joke, of course. How was she supposed to know he would end up in the hospital? It was all too much for me, so finally on Saturday night I left her and went to let my hair loose. I had way too much fun, so much fun I snuck out at eight while he lay face down. His surfer lanky body was exactly that.
I unlock the door, hoping to sneak in so they don’t see me in last night’s outfit, but there she is in the middle of the kitchen enjoying a nice hot cup of java.
“Oh, the walk of shame. Nice. Very nice.”
I sit at the counter, hoping she takes pity on me, but of course she’s an evil bitch ever since she started with her boss.
“What’s a walk of shame?” Rachel asks, and she looks over at me with her eyes as big as saucers.
“It’s when you are still wearing last night’s clothes,” I disclose to her and then I whisper to Lauren, “After they were on the floor of the hot guy whose cock you rode all night.” And then I throw my fist, pumping.
Lauren smacks my arm and picks up Rachel. “You get to wear the pretty dress today. Are you excited?” she asks while I rub the sting away from my arm.
“So excited! We get to go get our hair fixed?” She throws up her hands, mimicking me.
I smile at Lauren, mouthing to her, “She’s going to be just like me.”
Lauren glares at me, probably adding me to her list of enemies. “Now when are people expected for the anniversary party?” I ask as the doorbell rings, and she lets in the caterers. We go upstairs to get dressed so we can leave the caterers to do their thing while we get pampered. I jump in the shower quickly and make it out just in time to slide on a summer tube dress. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I come face to face with Lauren.
“I hate you. How can you shower and be dressed in five minutes and still look like it took you an hour to get ready?”
“Good genes. Wait till you see my outfit for later.” I wink at her, bouncing down the stairs to the front door.
Even Gabe comes along for the fun that is all things hair and makeup. Well, not fun for him, but he pretends. Once we get home, we all rush upstairs to change with only twenty minutes to spare.
I hurry into my room and pull out my pink sundress that I bought for this occasion. I pull out the same color bra. My mother should be happy. It’s tight on top and flares up a bit at the waist, with pleats to my knees. It’s chiffon so every time I walk it swooshes around my knees. I pull out my cream heel shoes that tie around the ankle, going down to a T at the toes. I look out just as I see something in the backyard that shouldn’t be there. “Is that a penis balloon? “Umm, Lauren? I think you should see this,” I yell at the same time the doorbell rings. I walk to the back door and take in the scene before me. “Jesus.” I don’t have time to say anything before the door opens and my parents walk in followed by their friends and Lauren finally comes down the stairs. I try to signal her with my hand, but she is too busy being a good hostess. I grab a glass of champagne that is set up on the counter, downing it in one gulp and grabbing another glass right away. The caterer is smiling at me. “Not now.”