“You.” She points at the bearded one.
He walks up to Lauren, turning his smile at Mom. “You must be Lauren’s sister,” he says, kissing her hand.
She smiles and throws her head back and laughs.
“Oh, you silly boy. I’m Deidra, Lauren’s mother. You can call me Dede,” she invites while she smiles at him.
“You can call her nothing, because you’re leaving. Now. And”—she turns to him—“how did you know where I live?”
“Lauren, stop being rude to the guests,” my mother scolds while my father walks over and introduces himself.
“Hello, son, I’m Frank, Lauren’s father.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head furiously. “He isn’t a guest. This is my former boss.” She looks at him, while my mouth now hangs open. “I quit. Done. Finished. Finito. I’m out,” she snaps with her hands on her hips.
Fuck, this isn’t good.
“Who is the other one?” I finally ask with a chin lift in the other guy’s direction. I smirk at him while the guy gives me a sly smile. That’s right, buddy, this is going to happen.
“That’s Noah,” she answers. “Gabe, can you go inside and get my car keys? Mr. Mackenzie is coming to get his dry cleaning.”
I watch as Gabe runs inside to get the keys.
“Mom, can I have a willy chocolate?” Rachel tugs at her skirt while she asks me the question.
“No, you cannot have a willy chocolate. We are going to eat in a minute.” She turns and storms inside.
“This is not good for anyone. You must be Asshat.” I point to him. “You’ve poked the bear now.” I don’t say anything else since he turns and follows Lauren inside. I turn to Noah. “So, how you doing?” I say in my best Joey Tribbiani voice.
His voice comes out smooth. “It’s looking up now. I’m really hoping it’s going to look up more tonight.” He winks at me, and my knees go weak, and I really wish I didn’t wear that bra.
When I start to drag my eyes up and down, taking him all in while I lick my lips like a Cheshire cat, I hear Rachel yelling, “Daddy, look, a willy.”
“Fuck, this just got interesting. The ex is here,” I say, staring at the gate where Jake just walked in and is kissing Rachel’s head.
Chapter Five
Noah
I wave goodbye to the blonde standing at her door wearing her pink kimono and nothing else as I am pulling away from the curb. I turn on the music, but it’s not on long before I see a call coming in from Austin.
“Go for Ho,” I say to him.
“Where are you at eight a.m. on a Sunday?” he asks me.
“That you even ask this makes me question how well you know me.”
“Fuck off. You can go a Saturday without having sex and your dick won’t fall off. You know this, right?”
Is he serious with this question?
“I don’t even know who you are right now. I think the problem is that you haven’t used your dick since Lauren fucked your balls up.”
“My balls became the fucking size of watermelons. That shit was not funny.”
I burst out laughing. “Dude, they were not pretty. I thought they’d explode and you’d have just your testicles left on the floor.”
“You better have deleted those fucking pictures that I saw you take.”
“Delete them? Fuck, it’s my screen saver at work and on my phone. I might get a T-shirt made with that image.”
“You’re an asshole.”
I smirk at his insult.
“I’ve been called much, much worse,” I inform him. I mean, just last week I was called a cocksucker, which is totally not true, because I will not be sucking any cock at any time. Ever.
“Anyway, brunch, pick me up at noon,” he demands.
“You live next door now. Can’t you walk over?” He moved in within two weeks of seeing the house. It was so fast and came almost furnished, so he was in within a day.
“Fine, I’ll walk over at noon. Be ready.”
“Later, princess.” I disconnect the call as soon as I arrive home, pulling my car into the garage. At noon he knocks on the door, opening it, and coming in before I have a chance to make it downstairs.
“Let’s go. We’ll take my car,” he yells from downstairs.
I run my hand through my still damp hair before walking downstairs.
“You’re so antsy today.” I look at him as he bounces on the heels of his feet. I follow him out, getting inside and leaning my head back, closing my eyes.
When we show up in front of a house, that is when Austin fills me in.
“Where the fuck are we? I thought you said we were going to brunch.” I look over at all the white picket fence houses.
“Yeah, pit stop first. I have to pick up my dry cleaning at Lauren’s,” he tells me, getting out of the car.
Once we make our way around her house, I ask him, “Why are we at her house?”