“Go wash your hands, dude,” I tell him as he places the glass in the sink, running upstairs.
“Where did all these flowers come from?” Lauren asks, putting Rachel down as my phone rings. “Saved by the bell.” She smirks at me while I answer walking outside, seeing it’s Stephanie on the phone.
“Hey,” I say, sitting on the stoop.
“You got another six bouquets,” she says into the phone. “I didn’t think there was such a thing as too many flowers. I’ve changed my mind.” She sneezes while I laugh.
“Okay, I’ll come and get them now. Put one in the relaxation room as well as the women’s changing area,” I tell her as she continues sneezing. “You know there is a theory that if you sneeze eight times you orgasm. You just had an orgasm at work. Best. Boss. Ever.” I laugh into the phone while she says fuck off and disconnects.
Walking back into the house, Lauren is already at the stove preparing what looks like chicken. “Are you eating with us tonight?” I look around at the flowers in the room.
“Not tonight. I have a date of sorts,” I say, making a plan in my head. I go upstairs, changing into my blue tight jeans and baby pink linen top. The sleeves go tight around my wrist while the neckline falls off one shoulder. I grab my brown sandals to finish the outfit. I say bye as I grab my keys and head down to my studio.
I pull up to the curb across the street right in front of the park. The sound of children playing and dogs barking fills the afternoon. I run across the street, opening the door. “You were not kidding.” I smile, taking in more roses.
“At this rate, we could open up our own flower shop,” Stephanie says as she scratches her nose.
“Okay, let’s get them loaded up. I’m going to bring some to the hospital and maybe church?” I grab a bouquet and rush to the car. It only takes two trips this time. I roll away from the curb, waving goodbye. I’m down the street when I see the red and blue lights in my mirror. I turn my music on louder, thinking of the plan I’m setting into motion.
I pull into my favorite Whole Foods store, picking up my phone.
So change of plans, are you still free tonight?
I send the text to Noah, waiting to see if he will answer.
I get out of the car, going into the store with a list in my head. Pepper, onions, vegan margarine, package of seitan, some garlic powder, oh, and the dairy free provolone. I throw in some fruit, but then put it back when I think of the fruit baskets he had yesterday. I walk around the grocery store aimlessly while I wait for him to text me back. I take my phone out again to check if he sent me anything. Still nothing. The message shows that it has been delivered.
I make a call to Lauren to ask her. She answers breathlessly after one ring, “Hello.”
“Hey, so if you text someone and they don’t text you back, what is the right etiquette?” I ask her vaguely.
“What do you mean, like you text someone and then they ignore you?”
“No.” My voice comes out loud and then I lower it. “Or maybe. So I had a date yesterday. Today he sends me a million roses. When he asked to meet me, I said I had other plans. Well, then I changed my mind and texted him back and I haven’t heard anything.”
“How long has it been?”
“Seventeen minutes. Maybe. Give or take.”
“Kay, he could be driving, in the bathroom, working out, cleaning.”
“We really need to talk about the guys in your imaginary world who actually clean.”
“Hey, if a man passes my vacuum I would blow him. No questions asked.”
“I really have to wonder why you’re still single.” I laugh out. “So you think he’s busy? Oh my God,” I shriek out. “What if he’s on a date with another woman?”
“Kay, calm down,” she says calmly. “No one will send a million roses to a woman and then go out with another one.”
“This is true, unless he had a back-up plan.” I pick up a jar of vegan peanut butter, putting it in the basket. “Imagine I show up at his house to cook for him and there is another girl there.”
“Wait a second. Back up. You’re going to cook for him? You hardly know how to cook for yourself.”
“Very funny. I’m making him vegan Philly cheesesteaks. He won’t even know the difference.” I smile at myself.
“Oh, he’ll definitely know the difference, unless you’re sitting there naked. Then maybe he might forget that chewy thing isn’t actually steak.”
I roll my eyes at her. “So I shouldn’t text him again?” I ask, wondering if I should put everything back. “Or should I just scratch this plan and come home?”