Under My Boss's Desk - Under Him

Am I on my way to love?

It is a thought that has been persistent in me for a while now.

Because he feels like my home every time we are together. Even with him sleeping on the other side of the wall.

I am about to sit and start working when the office phone rings. I try to ignore it, but then decide it might be important, so I rush to it and take the call.

I regret that snoopy decision seconds later.

Before I say anything, Michael’s voice from IT comes through. He sounds so excited as he goes off.

“Sir, the breach seems to be coming from both Anna Mallon’s and Tim Buck’s computers. It seems the marketing department needs a little cleansing, but that is not my place to advise. Just let me know what kind of action you need us to take.”

He stops, obviously waiting for Liam to answer, but I am frozen.

“Mr. Thorne?”

I bang down the receiver before I even realize what I am doing and back away from the phone. My legs are shaking so badly that I collapse into the nearest chair, not caring whether it is mine or not. There is one thought running over and over in my mind.

It was too good to be true.

I don’t know why Michael thinks I’ve breached security measures, but I haven’t. Still, if I were in Liam’s shoes, I would not believe the word of a simple employee just because I am sleeping with her, if IT had told me she was endangering my company.

I am not Liam’s wife, not even his girlfriend. There is no commitment or relationship between us beyond mutual pleasure. Or at least none that we have discussed.

There has been a breach in the company that was being investigated and he never breathed a word of it to me. In this very office, he has asked for my opinion on any and everything about his business, including big decisions. He must have never told me about this, though, because I was a suspect right from the start.

When the phone rings again, it jolts me into action, and I can literally feel the adrenaline filling me up. Immediately, I disconnect the phone and leave it hanging so that it can’t ring again and wake Liam up. I consider grabbing my laptop but decide against it.

Michael had said that it was my computer that was involved, so maybe there is a way to vindicate me through it. I leave it behind and grab my phone instead, my pens, my notebook, and my iPad.

The only things that show I was ever in the office are my laptop and a few papers on the printer. The thought to call a cab and get out of here is automatic, so I follow it and call one up immediately.

I try to hurry up on the hallway, but it is not an easy feat, considering I am on my tippy toes. Still, I manage to make it to the guest room I was given to grab my bag of clothes.

It’s funny that I complained to myself about only bringing a few items, but now I am grateful about that very fact. I tip toe again out of the room, down the hallway, down the stairs, and out of the house.

It was never meant to be, I realize.

I might have been on my way to loving Liam Thorne, but I can see how foolish that would have been now. I simply saw a potential between us that wasn’t there when I was nothing but an outlet for his desires until the quarantine period was over. The crush he had on me was purely sexual, and never held any possibility for anything more.

It feels like hours pass as I wait in front of the house for the cab to arrive, but realistically, only half an hour goes by. When it finally pulls up in front of me, I all but jump inside it.

I should be angry for the lack of trust, but I am sad and scared instead. Sad because I am more naive than I thought, and scared because I don’t know if I will be arrested for something I did not do.

Why does it hurt this way?

Why does it feel like someone just curved out my heart and left me with an empty hole?

Because you love him Anna, my inner thoughts answer. You weren’t on your way to love because you are already in love.

I want to analyze that thought even more, but I decide to push it away so that I can concentrate on what to do.

When we get to my house, I hurriedly pay the driver with the bills I had in my bag the day I went to Liam’s house and ask him to keep the meter running. I am naive, but I do know that staying in my house will get me arrested quickly while I wait for them to dig around my computer.