Three, Two, One (321)

My whole body starts to shake. What does that mean?

He takes the t-shirt from my hand and pulls it over my head. I hand the heart-covered briefs to him and thread my arms through the sleeves. He holds out the underwear for me and I step into them as he pulls them up my legs.

When I’m dressed he takes a step back, looking intently at me. “What’s your name, darling? You never told us.”

Us? He’s referring to the roommate. Like they’re a team. I just stare back at him, unwilling to give that last private piece of information out. “They called me Star.”

He squints his eyes at me in confusion. “Who called you Star?”

My eyes dart back and forth to each of his, but I say nothing.

“It’s not your name?”

I shake my head.

“You want us to call you Star?”

I shake my head once more, again wondering at his use of the word us.

“Well, then, I guess we’ll have to go with Blue, won’t we?”

We? Us?

My body is still shivering, even though I’ve got dry clothes on now. JD pulls on a pair of sweats and then takes my hand. “Let’s go to bed. I got up way too early for the girl who never bothered to show.”

I swallow hard and plant my feet in place, refusing to budge.

“Come on, Blue,” he says, tugging a little harder. Hard enough so that I stumble forward with him towards the king-size bed covered in soft pillowy blankets. They are a deep navy blue, the color of the night sky. “I won’t bother you,” he says as he climbs in and moves over to make room for me. “I think you need some rest.”

He’s let go of my hand now, a gesture that says the ball is in my court. And I want nothing more than to climb between those sheets with him. I want nothing more than to be hugged and told that everything will be fine. I want nothing more than to feel safe.

But how can I be sure it’s not a trap?

“Blue,” he says softly. Not begging for me to get in bed. Not demanding that I give him my body.

Asking. He says my new name like he’s asking.

“What?” I say back, swallowing hard.

“Just forget about it for a few hours. Those problems will still be there when you wake up.”

He’s right. Those problems are never going away. So does it matter if I let go of them for a little while? I swallow again and give a small nod. “OK,” I breathe. “OK.”

He folds the covers back and I climb in next to him. He’s so warm. And when his arms wrap around me, I fall for it.

I fall for his charm.

I fall for his kindness.

I fall for his good looks.

And then I fall into the best sleep I’ve had… ever.

I met JD when we were both on the streets. Him because of drugs. Me because I was new in town and hadn’t found myself a place. I stepped off the bus from Miami at one in the morning, walked outside the bus station and the first thing I saw was JD getting rolled by some thugs.

They were winning, but he didn’t need saving. He just needed help.

So I helped.

He’s two years younger than me, so he was young back then. Only twenty-one. And he was fucked up. It was clear he’d been fucked up for a pretty long stretch. Not anything he couldn’t be weaned off of, otherwise I wouldn’t have wasted my time. But he was drunk and on something else he never copped to.

So I helped him out. And afterward, we sat on a concrete wall across the street from the bus station until the sun came up and he was able to talk in complete sentences.

Objective number one when I got to Denver was to procure a partner. So I procured JD. He never went to college but he’s not a stupid guy. And he sorta knew the business, but he wasn’t an actor.

And that was OK with me. I didn’t need an actor. I needed someone real.

JD is as real as they come.

And that fucker can talk a girl into sucking his dick in the middle of a nightclub in under five minutes when he turns on the charm.

I know. He did it in front of me the first night we went out together. And that’s how I came up with the idea for Public Fuck America. I came to town with money and a goal. But I didn’t know how to reach that goal until I met JD.

He’s my best friend. And I’d do just about anything for the guy. But this girl, man. I don’t know what it is. I just want her. I want her and he’s got her.

I want to go home and take her back but I can’t. We’re still in debt to Ray until the end of next week, and there’s no way around it. I can talk big to Ray all I want, but he’s a friend too. I don’t want to piss him off. I don’t want to fuck up what we’ve built here. And I don’t want to set myself back any more than I have to. My life has been on hold for four years. I’m ready to move along.

So whatever JD is doing with her, it needs to wait.

I turn onto Speer Boulevard and take it up into the Highlands neighborhood, then cut through the side streets until I get up to 44th which takes me over to the west side.

Why do I like this girl anyway? She’s too skinny, she’s pasty white, she’s on drugs—or was last night. Even if they were forced on her, that’s a red flag.

But none of that matters because all I can think about is the mystery. Who is she running from? Why did they drug her? How did she escape?

I find myself needing to know the answers to these questions for multiple reasons. Is she in the business? Her pussy has been waxed bare. Her legs fell open on command. She was pretty receptive to the idea of making money off her body. And she never said no when JD and I tag-teamed her outside or in the tub.