Thankful For Her

“Hunter is coming tonight,” he says. I turn to face him and see he’s smiling from ear to ear. “This is going to be the best Thanksgiving in…” He pauses as a sad look comes over his eyes. “Well, the best in a long time. And even better that you’re here, too. Your mother has invited half the town for a turkey celebration, but either way, I know it’s going to be wonderful having you with us.”

I can’t help but smile back. I look at the dimple that forms in his cheek and I wonder if Hunter has it, too.

“I want you to finally meet him. It’s time.” He says it like he’s been waiting for the right moment.

I want that, too. I’ve wanted it from the first moment I saw his picture almost two years ago. What will he think of me? Excitement creeps into my belly and I feel myself get nervous. What should I wear? I picked out a white dress, but now I’m not so sure. Everyone always says I look young for my age. I want to look older, maybe even sexy. I don’t want him to think of me as his little stepsister. I want him to want me, to think I’m a woman, because I’m sure that’s all Hunter dates. The thought of him with other women grosses me out and makes me jealous. It’s irrational because I’ve never so much as met the guy. I know I’m being completely ridiculous. But I can’t help but wonder if they’re all supermodels or movie stars. The excitement I was feeling lessens and a little bit of sadness takes its place.

“Meet who?”

My mother’s voice echoes in the hall and Neil and I turn to see her staring at us. Her smile is forced and I know it. I can always tell because it doesn’t meet her eyes. Now, with all the botox she gets, it’s harder for her to fake it.

“Hunter,” Neil says. The way he says his son’s name is filled with so much love.

“How lovely. The whole family will finally be together for Thanksgiving.” My mom beams.

I keep on smiling even though I want to roll my eyes. Maybe I’m more like my mother than I know. Being able to mask how I really feel is second nature. Growing up with her, there was no other option but to fake it. I had to learn how to do it or life would be harder.

“Come, dear, let’s get you ready.” She holds her hand out for me to take it.

Her makeup and hair people got here hours ago and she’s perfection. She got ready while I worked in the kitchen making sure everything would be to her liking. She didn’t tell me to do it, but I thought it would be helpful. I know how she likes things done and I thought it would prevent her from making a few servers or cooks cry tonight. Plus, whenever she catches me sitting around reading she likes to make comments about me being lazy, which is her reason for why I’m so plump.

I take her hand and she leads me away. The farther we get from Neil the tighter her grip on my hand becomes and I know she’s mad, though I don’t know why. She leads me down the hallway until we get to my room, then she throws the door open and drags me inside. I can tell it takes everything in her to not slam the door closed behind us. She shuts it and I hear the lock click.

“What are you doing, Autumn?” she whispers harshly at me. I stare at her, not sure what she means. Sometimes I find it better not to speak at all. “You stay away from Neil. I won’t have you bothering him. We have a good thing here and you’re not going to mess it up.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, simply because there’s nothing else to say. There’s never any reasoning with her. And I don’t want to fight. It’s Thanksgiving and if she gets too worked up she has these little breakdowns. As much as I can’t stand her, watching her have one always pulls at my heart. She’s still my mother.

“You’re not coming tonight,” she tells me.

My heart drops. Normally I’d jump for joy that she wasn’t dragging me to one of her little events, but not tonight. Tonight I was going to get to meet Hunter. She walks over to my bed, where the white dress I was going to wear is laid out. “White. Really, Autumn? Could you be any more boring?” She shakes her head, walks over to my closet and puts the dress away. “If you want to be so plain wear black.” Her eyes roam over me. “At least it’s slimming.”

She sighs and shakes her head like she’s exasperated with me. My eyes water, but I hold it back the best I can.