Thankful For Her

I stumble out and down the hallway in search of the bar I know my stepmonster has to have close by. I dodge people as I make my way through the crowd. A few try to stop and talk to me, but I keep on going. I even ignore the mayor when he tries to grab my attention.

“Scotch,” I tell the bartender when I finally find it. He pours me a drink and I swallow it back. I turn around and look around the living room. The warm liquor has gone straight to my head on an empty stomach, and the room is beginning to look fuzzy. I don’t remember how much I’ve had, but it’s too much too fast.

I need to get some air. I glance over at the door that leads outside and I see Sarah standing there. My stomach protests the sight of her, so I turn and go the other way. She’s a friend of Porsha’s and always tries to attach herself to me. When I see Porsha at the end of the hall talking close to some man I don’t recognize, I head up the stairs, going for my old bedroom. It’s the only clear escape I have right now, and I just need a second to get it together before I get out of here. This was a terrible idea.

I haven’t been inside my room in forever, but when I reach it, I turn the knob and walk in. I don’t pay attention to the room to see if it’s any different. I just let myself fall onto the bed and close my eyes.

Chapter Three

Autumn

When I step into the office Neil is standing behind his desk, and I’m guessing he thinks Hunter might come back.

“Do you think that about me?” I ask him. My voice is soft. I hate the idea of Neil thinking I’m some gold digger. I know my mother is and maybe that makes me one, too. I never say anything to contradict it, and technically, I use the money she gets from Neil for school. I guess that makes me just as bad as she is.

“No, sweetheart, and neither does Hunter. Come in here.”

I do as he says, stepping into his office and shutting the door behind me. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” I mumble.

Hunter’s words hurt. I know I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping on them, but I couldn’t help myself. When I saw Hunter get out of the car from my bedroom window I found myself leaving the room in search of him. I had to have a better look.

His voice was even deeper than I thought it would be, but so was the cut of the words. He didn’t even know me, but he’d already made up his mind about who I am.

“He’s hurting and he’s lonely. People like that lash out.” Neil comes out from behind his desk. “Not you, though. You don’t lash out.” I look up into Neil’s dark eyes. He has a sad smile on his face.

I shake my head. No, I’m not the type of person that says hateful things when I’m upset. I don’t have it in me. At times I wish I had a backbone, because I could really use it.

“You remind me a lot of her.” Neil’s eyes go to the picture of him and his wife, hanging over the fireplace behind his desk.

“Really?” I ask, not believing him. We look nothing alike. I have dark brown hair and gray-blue eyes. She could have been a model.

“Her spirit.” Now the smile reaches his eyes. It always does when he talks about her. “She was sweet to the core. We were a perfect fit. I used to be a grumpy ass who worked too much and yelled even more.” He’s still smiling as he says the words. “Her softness softened me and I in turn made sure no one ever hurt her. We needed each other.”

I wish I could have seen that Neil. With my mother he’s nothing like that. They barely talk. Not that I blame him. They don’t even sleep in the same room. It’s so odd. Even more so because when I see Neil look at pictures of his deceased wife I would never think of him marrying again. I want someone to look at me the way he looks at her pictures.

“She always said Hunter was just like me, but now…” He lets out a deep breath. “Since we lost them he’s worse. He’s adrift and I can’t pull him back. I’m losing him, too, and I can’t stop it. No matter how hard I try.” I hear defeat in his voice. The anger I felt at Hunter’s words fades away.

“Will you go find him for me?” My breath catches for a moment. “I want you to make sure he’s okay. He stormed out of here and I don’t think he wants to see me right now.”