Middle of Knight (Jack & Jill 2)

“Sometimes I get blurred vision, but it’s been easy to relate it to my headaches because they’re so frequent. I don’t remember some things, but I’m getting older so I just figured it was age.”

The day of his accident he’d forgotten their dinner date. The night he took her for a ride on her Harley he acted confused when she reminded him about his parents and Brooke’s family coming for Cage’s game. Fucking twenty-twenty hindsight.

He continued. “It’s all going to get worse. I’m taking medication for my headaches and seizures, but it’s not a cure. If I do nothing I could go blind in less than two months. If I agree to radiation and try to squeeze out six months, I could experience worse headaches, nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, hearing loss, difficulty with speech and memory, and more seizures. If I become the exception and make it past the six months, then they tack on stroke-like symptoms and poor brain function. The fatigue and medications could lead to erectile dysfunction. No sex.”

He lifted her chin with his finger, but she would not give him her tears.

“Sound like fun to you?”

The strong woman who came in the door vanished, leaving a ghost biting her quivering lip, hating herself for being so weak.

Her pain softened his rigid scowl of determination.

“I. Love. You.” His words ripped through the imposter of a heart in her chest. “I’ll do this for you, but you have to know it’s going to feel like the most painful kind of love ever. You need to get that. I would never blame you for turning and walking away. It’s your choice. Are you in?”

AJ didn’t realize Jillian … Jessica … had already experienced the most painful kind of love—letting go. Holding on was so much easier than letting go. It’s the reason she held on to Jessica and held on to her memories of Luke.

“I’m in,” she whispered.

The pain in his eyes intensified. He cradled her face in his hands, shaking his head. “You’re so stubborn.”

Contumacious.

The man who’d made claim to her empty chest, kissed her hard but she would not blink. The next day she’d pull it together, make some calls, and find a doctor that showed some optimism. That night, however, she surrendered her emotions and then her body.

*

“Jillian?” AJ whispered as he held her in his arms.

She fought sleep, wanting to stay with him. The fragility of their time together kept her frozen in place. “Hmm?” She kissed his arm wrapped around her, holding her naked body against his.

“I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”

“Don’t let me hurt you, physically or emotionally, and don’t…” he drew in a long breath “…don’t let me suffer. Let me die with some sort of dignity.”

“AJ—” She choked on her words, damning the nagging tears.

“Promise me.”

“How will I know?” she whispered.

“You’ll just … know.” He kissed the back of her head. “I trust you.”

She closed her eyes, begging the tears to hold off as she held her breath and nodded once. Her body shook from the pounding in her chest, an earthquake of pain. Pain that was just too much.

A while later she felt his body relax around hers, so she slipped out of bed, dressed, and went home.

Jackson sat perched on a chair in front of his computer. He looked up.

“Downstairs,” she whispered.

He stared at her for a moment. Then he nodded.

After changing her clothes, she wrapped her hands and waited for Jackson. He gave her a sad smile as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He started to wrap his hands.

“I’ll fight back, I promise, but I need you to make me feel a different type of pain.”

They both slipped in their mouth guards.

He nodded. Before she could meet his eyes, he swung his leg around, knocking her to the floor. Tears flooded her eyes, but not from being knocked down.

“Get up,” he growled, his voice devoid of sympathy. Jackson knew what she needed, sometimes more than she did.

“Get the fuck up!”

She crawled to her feet, tears streaming down her face. He hit her again before she had a chance to react. Blood pooled along her lip.

“You feel that?” he asked. His voice grew louder with each word.

“Yes,” she gritted, brushing away her tears with her arms as her tongue licked the blood.

“Then show me.”

Her ragged breaths came quicker as anger seized her body and she attacked her brother, holding back nothing. She fought her past, beating the shit out of everything that took Luke away from her. She fought the asshole who had been messaging her, making her feel scared and weak, and then she fought the fucking cancer. She fought it through tears and blood. Jillian fought until she collapsed in Jackson’s arms. The tears ran dry and the pain numbed. One feeling remained: acceptance.

Chapter Six