Fortuity (Transcend 3)

I tug on the tee shirt, trying to pull it down. I’m not wearing anything beneath it. This is the second time she’s caught me in nothing but her dad’s shirt … in a kitchen. Only this time I’m not giving him head. Honestly, I think I’d prefer that to the pregnancy conversation. Maybe …

It might be a tie.

“What are you doing here?” She pulls away. “Is Gracelyn pregnant? Am I going to be a big sister? Please say yes. Please. Please. Please say yes!” She runs around the island and gives me a hug. “Oh my gosh … I’m so excited! Does Gabe know? Can I be the one to tell him? I hope it’s a girl or a boy … I don’t really care.” Letting go of me, she jumps up and down clapping her hands in front of her.

“Mor-gan!” Nate says her name in a very stern voice.

Her excitement plummets like a dead bird falling out of the sky.

“Why. Are. You. Here?” He rests his hands loosely on his hips.

“Oh …” Her forehead wrinkles. “I forgot my swimsuit and Grandma and Grandpa are going to take me to the pool. They’re waiting out in the car.”

“Go to your room. Wait for me.” He points toward her room.

She frowns, shuffling her flip-flop clad feet down the hall.

He sighs. “I need to tell them it’s going to be a few minutes.”

Pressing my lips together, feeling completely out of place, I nod, hugging my arms to my stomach.

Nate’s eyebrows knit together, and he makes his way to me, cupping the back of my head and giving me a hard kiss. He pulls back just an inch, staying at my eye level. “I want a baby with you. A home. A life with you. Okay?”

I swallow back my emotions. “K …” I whisper.

He goes out the front door. I pick back up the knife and steady my shaky hand before continuing my chopping. A few minutes later, he comes back inside and heads straight to Morgan’s room.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

Nathaniel

“Why are you mad?” Morgan pouts, sitting on the edge of her bed without looking up at me after I shut her bedroom door.

“I’m not mad. I just thought you needed a timeout. You were losing it, and honestly I think you were scaring Gracelyn.”

“Did you…” she glances up at me “…have sex with her? You promised you would never lie to me about sex. You said I could ask you anything and you’d tell me the truth.”

I’ve hidden very little from her over the years, but it was easier when she was younger and didn’t ask so many questions that nudged me to the edge of my comfort zone. Yes, I told her I would never lie to her about sex, but I also thought when I explained sex to her, she’d brush it off and not ask about it again for … maybe ever. And the realistic part of my brain that knew she would ask something just assumed it would be about her own sex life—asking to be put on birth control. I will of course say hell no.

This … I never thought we’d be discussing my sex life because I never thought I’d have one again.

“Yes.”

Keep it simple.

“Did you use a condom?”

Fuck …

“Because responsible people use condoms. And you are responsible. So if you didn’t use one, then that means you want to have a baby with Gracelyn, right?”

When Morgan was five, she asked me how her mom died. I told her. Then she asked if she killed her mom. I assured her she didn’t. Years later, she asked about it again. Again, I told her the truth, but in that moment, she had her own opinion. And that opinion was that she was the reason her mom died. It wasn’t the truth. It also wasn’t a lie.

That led to a conversation about risks and what is considered an acceptable risk. The other night, I wasn’t thinking I wanted Gracelyn to get pregnant. I also wasn’t thinking I didn’t want her to get pregnant.

It’s complicated.

I kneel down in front of her, resting my hands on her legs. “I love Gracelyn, but you already know that. And …” I weigh my words for a few seconds. “She might be pregnant, but she might not be either. When people don’t know, they don’t tell anyone until they do know for sure. It’s starting a rumor that doesn’t need to be started.”

“You don’t want me to tell Gabe.”

I nod. “Not just Gabe. I don’t want you to tell anyone. Not your friends. Not Grandma and Grandpa. No one. Can you do that? Can you just pretend you never heard that? Because we really don’t know.”

“If she is pregnant, are they moving here?” A hopeful smile blooms along her face.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. We have a lot to discuss.”