Fortuity (Transcend 3)

“Jacob’s mom found out and told TJ’s and Cole’s parents, but …”

I nod again. “She didn’t know who to go to about you seeing it too.”

“Yeah.”

“Listen, I’m a little worried that what you saw might not be exactly right, but it could be. I want you to have a healthy knowledge of sex. Do you know—”

“I know what it’s called.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“Okay. Do you think we should talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.” I chuckle. “We don’t have to right now, but to return to what we were talking about … I might be pregnant.”

Gabe’s eyes grow into saucers.

“Nate and I had … sex. And there is so much to discuss about that and babies and not getting pregnant from sex, but we don’t have to discuss that now if you don’t want to. However, it will need to be discussed when you get older and start showing more interest in girls. Okay?”

He doesn’t move. “You’re going to have a baby?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know yet. But maybe. That’s why I want to talk with you about Nate and Morgan. How would you feel about living with them?”

“You mean they’re moving next door again?”

“No … I mean how would you feel about moving to Wisconsin?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to move.”

I blow out a slow breath. “I know. But if I’m pregnant, then Nate and I need to be together. This would be his baby too.”

“So what’s going to happen to me?”

Tension settles in my face. He’s breaking my heart. I scoot over to the sofa and rest my hand on his. “Gabe, nothing is going to happen to you. We are a family now. You and I. So if I’m pregnant, it doesn’t change us, it just adds to our family. Technically, it will be your cousin, but you’ll grow up with him or her like a big brother.”

“You want me to move?”

“Yeah. I want you to move.”

“Do I have to?”

He’s not making this easy at all.

“I mean … what if you’re not pregnant. Then we don’t have to move, right? I mean … I have friends here. My soccer team. This is my home.”

“I know, but things change in life. I think you would like Wisconsin. And while you would miss your friends, you would make new ones. Find a new soccer team. You’re young and you have lots of school years left and plenty of time to make new friends.”

He stands, shaking his head over and over. “I don’t want to go if I don’t have to go.”

“And what if I’m pregnant?”

He stops, halfway to his room. “Then I’ll go. But if you’re not, then we stay.” The door slams shut.

“Shit …” I whisper.

I make my way downstairs. Mr. Hans hands me a glass of lemonade and nods to the porch.

“You were eavesdropping?” I follow him.

He smirks and sits on the swing. “Just had my hearing aid turned way up.”

I grin and take a seat next to him.

“Let it settle a few days. Give him time to think about it. He’ll come around.”

I stare out at the water. “And if he doesn’t?”

“You’ll figure something out. He’s not going to break.”

“But he’s lost a lot.”

“We all suffer losses. Yes, his was a big loss at an early age, but he’s surrounded by love and that’s what’s going to make him a strong young man. He will be resilient, more so than other young men his age who didn’t have to suffer such a loss.”

“What if I’m not pregnant?” I whisper my greatest fear. It’s crazy. I’m forty-two. Being pregnant should be my greatest fear.

“Cross one bridge at a time. It’s all Gabe can do right now too.”

I nod. “Thank you.”

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

I get my period.

The tears come instantly with plenty of help from my hormones. I knew it was coming. I’ve had night sweats for days, and they always happen before my period. Of course, I’m not pregnant. My unused uterus probably shriveled up years ago. Now it just hemorrhages bloody tears once a month to remind me what an epic fuckup my life has been.

Yeah … the hormones are strong.

After I told Nate about my talk with Gabe, he said if I wasn’t pregnant, he’d fly out here and talk to Gabe man to man. He shouldn’t have to do that.

Running on high octane estrogen, I march out to the living room and stand in front of Gabe’s Saturday morning TV.

“Move, please.” He cranes his head to see around me.

I snatch the remote and shut off the TV. “Listen, I want to be your friend. I don’t like it when I have to act like an adult with you. It’s much more fun to go Rollerblading and play games together. But you leave me with no choice. We are moving to Wisconsin. End of discussion.”