Heartbreaker: A Filthy Dirty Love Novel

“No.” The man squeezed his arms tighter, pressing the side of his face against his wife’s, regardless of the blood between them. “No, don’t take her. Not yet.”

“I won’t take her. I promise.” She moved in slowly, pressing her finger against the woman’s bloody neck and shut her eyes, wishing for a thump indicating that this woman’s life wasn’t over yet.

Her wish never came true.

Blaring sirens erupted and snapped Joss into action. She placed her hand on the man’s shoulder again and said the only thing she could think of. “I’m so very sorry.” So very sorry I can’t bring her back to you. Her legs were shaky when she rose and glanced over the mangled car, discovering two other police cars were on the scene now, plus a fire truck and an ambulance.

At Joss’s feet, the man sobbed, rocking his wife. “My Rosie. My poor, lovely Rosie.”

“What have you got?”

It took Joss a second to realize a paramedic was talking to her. She turned her head and shook it.

“DOA?” the paramedic mouthed.

Joss nodded.

No emotions had shown on his face before he hurried off toward the girls at the gas station. That was the job, and Joss realized she needed to learn that skill of keeping emotions out of it as she glanced at the man at her feet again.

When his sad eyes met hers, she could barely breathe, and tears prickled her eyes when he whispered, “She was my everything.”

* * *

Later that night, Maddox arrived at Joss’s a little bit before dinner, finding her car in the driveway. He’d had today off, and spent the morning at the gym and then the rest of the afternoon servicing his car. Until the call from the sergeant in his division updating him on the accident brought him to Joss’s doorstep. Dealing with any kind of trauma was an adjustment for new rookies, and even Maddox still remembered the worst ones he’d seen in vivid detail. Those horrors never went away.

While last night weighed heavily on his mind, as did the fact that he’d lost control of himself, he needed to see her. Once he reached her front door, he knocked and waited, but she never came. He considered leaving, but his instincts told him not to. She shouldn’t be alone after what she’d seen today. In fact, after a hard scene, Maddox always spent time with Grey because Grey didn’t see the things Maddox did, and somehow, his friend always grounded him. That was his way to unload and get his head right after seeing things that no one should ever see.

He reached for the door handle, finding the portal unlocked, and as he opened it, he called, “Joss?”

“In here.”

The coldness in her voice strained the muscles across his shoulders, causing him to hurry inside and shut the door behind him. Only a few steps down her hallway, he found her sitting on the couch in her living room. Her legs were tucked underneath her, a blanket wrapped tightly around her, and a glass of red wine was in her hand. “I heard about today,” he told her, noting her puffy eyes and pink cheeks. Obviously, she’d been crying.

“You did?” she whispered.

He nodded and approached her, hastily taking the wineglass from her hand. “This isn’t a good idea.” He placed the glass behind him on the coffee table out of her reach before turning to her again. “Never drink after a bad scene. It won’t lead anywhere good. Talk about it to those who understand the reality of seeing the things we do, but don’t wash away what you feel with booze.”

She stayed silent, staring deeply into his eyes.

He frowned at what he saw in her expression. She’d always been such a bright light. Strong and steady. Not now. She was entirely something different. Something dark. “Talk to me,” he said gently.

She paused. Then, “I’m not okay.”

“I see that.” Right then, he realized that when she wasn’t okay, he wasn’t either. A heavy feeling sat in the center of his chest. He needed to touch her, not only to be close to her, but for himself. The distance between them gutted him. He took a step forward, but her sharp voice stopped him.

“Please don’t come any closer.”

A chill ran through him, and he became instantly alarmed at the emotion in her voice and her eyes. “Please tell me what you’re thinking,” was all he could think to say.

She pulled the blanket up to her chin, staring at the wineglass in front of her on the table. “I imagine you came here because you think the death today rattled me.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets, fisting his hands. “Hasn’t it?”

“A little, of course, but it’s not the woman’s death that I can’t stop thinking about.”