Lord Have Mercy (Southern Gentleman 2)

She shrugged. “My diet can go suck a nut. I’m eating, and that’s that.”

I walked to her fridge and pulled out a beer that was in the fridge door.

“You don’t mind, do you?” I questioned.

She shook her head. “No. They’re for a chicken recipe, but I can get more tomorrow.”

I popped off the lid and took a swig. “I’ll buy you more tomorrow since I’m the one drinking it.”

She looked at my lips, her pupils dilating, and I felt an answering response behind the zipper of my pants.

Bringing the bottle away from my lips, I said, “How are you really doing?”

She licked her lips and looked away from my gaze. “I’m fine. I just always feel really raw after a panic attack. There was no way I’d be able to stay at the game and be able to function.”

I understood that even if I didn’t like it.

I would’ve liked to see her more tonight, even if it was only a glance every now and then while I worked.

I wasn’t sure what was going on with me lately.

A few weeks ago, it was easy as hell to dislike the woman, but the more time I spent with her, the less that I disliked her, and the more that I wanted to be around her.

I found her intriguing as hell, and it was getting to the point where I wasn’t sure if this was just a crush anymore or not—if thirty-four-year-old men could have ‘crushes.’

“I get so fucking tired after one of those. I’m not sure if it’s normal or not.”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, honestly. I’ve never had a panic attack or seen someone have a panic attack before today. I have to say, though, if I never see it again, I’ll be okay.”

She grinned at me, causing my heart to stall out in my chest.

Damn, but she was beautiful when she smiled.

“Are you still hungry?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No. I’m honestly just considering taking another shower and lying on the couch watching a movie.”

I tilted my head partially to the side. “How about you take your shower, and I’ll queue up a movie. When you get out, we’ll watch it.”

“Only if you watch the new Avengers movie. I haven’t seen it yet and it just came out on video,” she challenged me.

I scrunched up my nose. “I haven’t seen it yet because I want to wait for the next one to come out. I’m not a big fan of cliffhangers, and I’ve heard enough about this one to know that it’s about as big of a cliffhanger as you could get.”

She rolled her bottom lip, and I felt something deep inside my gut twinge at the look on her face.

“Oh, you’re good,” I teased.

Camryn snickered, her rolled over lip unable to stay that way when she did. “I’m good. I learned from the best.”

“Your sibling?” I asked.

She nodded once, and her face went sad for a few long seconds. “Yeah. My brother. He taught me everything that I know.”

I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like the answer to my next question.

“He taught you? Is he no longer around anymore?” I questioned hesitantly.

She nodded once. “My brother died during the war in Afghanistan. He was on a helicopter that crashed in the mountains.”

I felt something in my stomach clench at that.

“I had a friend that died the same way,” I admitted. “I was supposed to be on the same helicopter as him, and when it went down, I felt my whole entire world tilt on its axis.”

She sniffled. “Yeah. My parents didn’t take it well. Neither did I. But they just sort of…gave up. My mother died of a heart attack a year later, and my father died the same way about six months after her.”

She’d lost everyone in the period of a year and a half.

Holy shit.

“Camryn,” I said softly.

She shrugged as if it didn’t bother her, but we both knew better. It bothered her a hell of a lot. More than she was willing to admit.

***

I didn’t know how it happened.

One second, we were watching a movie—one that I really hadn’t meant to watch yet since I knew it was a cliffhanger and the next movie wouldn’t be out until next year—and the next Camryn had fallen asleep with her head in my lap.

That was an hour ago, fifteen minutes into the movie.

Not wanting to watch it anyway and knowing that she wouldn’t notice if I changed it at this point, I turned it off and shifted underneath her, trying to find a more comfortable spot without dislodging her head from where it was resting against my thigh.

I didn’t want to move her. I liked exactly where she was. I liked the peacefulness I could read on her face after the panic I’d seen on it earlier this afternoon.