Fragile Longing

“Do you really think I’m going to listen to you, Serafina? You are the enemy. Your words are worthless. If I negotiate with anyone, it’s with Remo, not his wife. But I have absolutely no intention of negotiating with either of you.” His words dripped with disdain and his expression only reflected contempt. There was no sign of longing, desire, or affection for Fina in his eyes.

“Danilo—”

“The only reason why I’m not ending this right here, right now, is because, unlike your husband, I listen to reason. You and he aren’t worth risking the unity of the Outfit.”

Remo gave Danilo a twisted smile. “Nice speech.”

I gripped Danilo’s bicep, worried the provocation would get to him, but he returned Remo’s smile with the same amount of condescension. His palm pressed against my belly, nudging me in the direction of the car. Fina and I looked at each other. Seeing each other had been wonderful but at the same time we’d encountered this invisible barrier between us. I glanced up at Danilo and Fina at Remo. We had both made our choice. We’d always be sisters, always try to be part of the other’s life in small ways, but what had been was lost. We had changed, our views on the world had changed, and our loyalties to our husbands trumped our sisterly bond.

I allowed Danilo to guide me toward the car as he kept his gun trained on Remo. After I’d sank down on the passenger seat, my gaze sought Fina once more. She was looking my way. She was smiling, and I couldn’t help but do the same. A hint of wistfulness filled me, but mostly I was relieved that we’d gotten the chance to see each other, albeit briefly, and make sure the other was happy. As long as we knew that, distance didn’t matter. Our lives couldn’t mesh, not without risking the happiness and safety of other people.

Danilo started the car without a word, but before we pulled away, I waved at Fina. Her smile widened, even though I could tell she was fighting tears. My own eyes stung, but I didn’t cry. A strange mix of sadness, happiness, and relief filled me.

Shortly before Fina disappeared from view, Remo wrapped his arms around her from behind and she leaned into him. Fina was truly happy. I’d occasionally worried that wasn’t the case, but now I didn’t have the slightest doubt.

Then I remembered my rental car. “The car!”

“They can charge us extra and pick it up themselves, I don’t give a fuck.”

His anger sizzled between us.

“How did you know?”

He slanted me a furious look. “Carlo got suspicious.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

He didn’t reply. I jumped when he took my hand and linked our fingers. He wasn’t looking at me, and his brows puckered in a way that told me he was still pissed.

“I needed to see her,” I said.

“You should have talked to me before going off on your own.”

“You wouldn’t have allowed it.”

“Of course not,” he growled, giving me an exasperated look.

“Are you worried this’ll reflect badly on you?”

He muttered something under his breath that I didn’t catch, and he looked even angrier, if that was possible.

“Maybe you don’t have to tell Dante. It can be our secret.”

“No,” he clipped.

I tried to read his expression, wondering if he was worried that I’d let something slip by accident. “I can keep a secret.”

“Oh, I know, as you exhibited with your trip to meet your sister. It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s Remo. He might tell Dante about our meeting. He knows how to turn things like this to his advantage and sow seeds of disorder and discord. It’s his particular talent.”

“I didn’t even think about that.”

“That’s what I figured,” he muttered, making me feel stupid and small. “It was insanity. I know you’re young, but you need to think before you act.”

His words hit me like a whip. The anger on his face seemed to grow with every passing second, which confused me, but I wouldn’t let him treat me like one of his soldiers. I might be young, but I was his wife and deserved better.

“Don’t blame this on my youth. Fina is much older and she came all the way to see me.”

Danilo shot me a glare. “But she was clever enough not to come alone. She told her husband about her plan. She had someone to keep her safe. You went on your own.”

“Like you said, you wouldn’t have allowed me to meet her. I knew that. And there was no one else I could take. I didn’t want to risk Anna’s life.”

Danilo gave me a look. “Only your own.”

I bit my lip. I hadn’t really thought all that much about it. I hadn’t even considered that Fina would bring her husband along, but of course it was the sensible choice. The Camorra and the Outfit were at war after all.