Fragile Longing

This version of me. It wasn’t what he’d wanted to say. “I thought you’d like it.” The moment I uttered the words I wanted to take them back. It was such a weak thing to admit. I hated showing weakness in front of him, especially after his freak-out just now. Mom had taught me to be prideful, not this cowering, wanting-to-please-everyone slip of a girl.

“Change it back, Sofia. Before the engagement party. I don’t want photos of us together with you looking like . . . that.”

I pressed my lips together. Tears of anger and embarrassment threatened to burst forth, but I held them back.

The door opened and Samuel stepped in, his eyes narrowed. “What’s going on here?”

I could have cried from relief. I just wanted out of this situation and away from Danilo to clear my head. It was difficult to think straight with him so close.

“Nothing,” I blurted. Of course, my brother didn’t believe it. He stalked inside, his glare locking on Danilo. “The rules haven’t changed. You shouldn’t be alone with my sister before you’re married to her.”

Danilo’s smile was dangerous. “Thank you for the reminder.”

I used their alpha plays to slip out and rush upstairs. It took every ounce of self-control to call my hairdresser and ask her for a last-minute hair appointment the next day, then I burst into tears. That’s how Anna found me fifteen minutes later.

She sank down on the bed beside me, stroking my head. “Danilo didn’t like your hair?” she guessed.

“He hates it.” My throat was raw from crying, but at least the heavy feeling had turned into a small flame of indignance.

“Fuck him.”

I rolled on my side, giving Anna a bitter smile. “Language, Anna.” I mimicked Santino’s warning growl.

“What are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “I have a hair appointment tomorrow.”

Anna’s lips thinned.

“I know you would probably keep it to spite him, but I don’t want trouble on the day of my engagement. I want the party to be perfect. Pissing Danilo off will only ruin my mood as well.”

“It’s your decision, Sofia, but don’t let him push you around. It was okay to cut him slack after the thing with your sister happened, but he should be over it by now.”

“Men and their pride, you know how it is.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started.”Overnight, the small flame of indignance in my chest turned into a roaring fire. I was angry at Danilo for his reaction, but even more than that, I was absolutely furious that he was allowed to follow his blonde obsession and then dared to freak out because I’d colored my hair.

I wasn’t a very rebellious person, had never been, but I felt the need to show him that he couldn’t push me around. Maybe I was young and not Serafina, but that didn’t mean he could act like an asshole.

“Back again?” my hairdresser asked curiously. I’d colored my roots only a couple of days ago. I could already see her gossip radar springing to life.

I gave her a cheeky smile. “I’m feeling like more change.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Not back to your original hair color?”

My eyes darted to the photo of a model with a cute bob cut and bangs. I’d never had short hair, and never really considered it. “I want that haircut.”

She followed my gaze, her lips parting in surprise. “Are you sure you want me to cut so much of your hair off? It’ll take a while for it to grow back. You know how men in our world prefer long hair . . .”

“I know,” I said lightly, feeling almost high from my small act of rebellion.

My stomach did a little flip when she cut about fifteen inches off my hair, but once the blonde strands fell to the ground, it felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

When she was done, my hair reached my chin in the front and ended a bit higher in the back. I was surprised how much I liked seeing myself with bangs, even if I had to stop myself from blowing them away from my forehead. I looked cute. Better yet, I looked nothing like Fina anymore. The cut would have looked even better with brown hair but that would have to wait until my next appointment, so Danilo didn’t think I had colored it because of his order.

Samuel did a double take when I slid into the car. Still, it was better than the reaction he’d had two months ago. Now, it was more surprise, less horror.

“And?” I asked.

He looked relieved. “Better.”

I supposed that was a compliment where he came from.

Mom and Dad also looked as if a weight had been lifted off their shoulders now that I wasn’t Fina’s spitting image anymore. Dad even pulled me into a one-armed hug and pressed a kiss to my temple. “I hoped you’d dye it back to brown. I really miss your hair color, but this cut is something else, I have to give you that, ladybug.”