Fragile Longing

Anna winked at me, then swam closer to where Santino was floating on his back. I stared up at the beautiful night sky and let the water carry me, trying to come up with a topic to talk about with Danilo since he was still close by. He followed my gaze to the sky, and I wished, like so often in the past, that we were normal lovers and I could just swim over to him and kiss him.

Something wrapped around my ankle and I let out a startled cry, floundering wildly to get rid of whatever it was. In my panic, I swallowed water and my head sank under the surface briefly. Then an arm wrapped around me, and when I got my vision back, Danilo was at my side. “Calm down. I’m here.”

“Something grabbed my ankle.” I cringed when I realized how that sounded . . . as if a sea monster had attacked me.

“Sofia?” Samuel asked, worry ringing in his voice. I could hear him coming closer.

“I’ll handle it,” Danilo clipped, surprising me with the protective note in his voice. Then he faced me. Our faces were close because he was still holding me. I could have swum by myself now that the first wave of panic had subsided, but I didn’t say anything.

“Try to lie back and float on the surface so I can remove what’s on your leg,” Danilo instructed calmly. I nodded and slowly relaxed until my body drifted up to the surface. Even before Danilo reached for it, I recognized what had grabbed me: seaweed was wrapped around my ankle. Heat shot into my head when Danilo removed it from my leg and thrust it away.

“Sorry,” I said in embarrassment. “I’m not usually this jumpy.”

“Don’t worry.” Danilo didn’t leave my side after that, even though Samuel shot him warning looks. I wanted to smack my brother over the head. With his constant hovering, he was ruining my chance to have a moment of privacy with Danilo.

“I’m going to check on Emma,” Danilo said eventually.

“Will you be back?” I asked.

His lips twitched, then he nodded and got out of the water.

Anna swam over to me. “Nice job playing the damsel in distress, so Danilo would save you.”

I glared. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Well, it still worked perfectly. Say what you want, but he’s protective of you. That guy doesn’t want to lose another girl, that’s for sure.”

I grinned. Not wanting to lose me was a good start.

She nudged my shoulder. “Pretend you need to go to the toilet and intercept him on his way back. Samuel, Leonas, and Santino are talking about rifles, and I can distract them for a while.”

“And then what?”

Anna gave me a look as if I was a stupid kid. “Have you ever kissed a guy?”

“Of course not.”

“Then that’s your chance. You’ve been engaged to him for years and you’ll be married to him in less than twelve months. Get some action.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Don’t be such a goody-two-shoes. Sometimes we need to bend the rules a little to live. You just have to make sure people believe you always follow the rules.”

“All right,” I murmured then louder. “I’m heading to the bathroom.”

I climbed out of the water, grabbed my towel and headed up the path.

My heart sped up, thinking of what to say, and worse: what to do. I tried to channel my inner Anna. I’d be daring and take a risk. I wanted a reaction from him. No risk, no fun—that was pretty much her motto.I was glad to be away from Sofia. In the past, our encounters had been mildly entertaining due to her awkwardness and crush on me. I’d watched her innocent flirting with amusement but never taken it seriously. She was a child and I couldn’t imagine her as a grown-up, much less my wife. Our life together had been an abstract concept.

Already at our last encounter I’d noticed a change, and now it was impossible to ignore. I noticed Sofia, not because she deserved my attention due to our planned future together. No. I noticed her curves, her beautiful face. Sofia wasn’t a kid anymore. She was a young woman with a desirable body. Now, her flirting didn’t seem amusing or like a game. It felt like a promise of what would soon be in my reach, a dangerous temptation.

I wasn’t a man who acted on impulse or followed his sexual drive without a second thought, but the mere fact that Sofia tempted me when she was still off-limits set my teeth on edge. I didn’t enjoy this feeling of being a slave to my instincts, but when I saw Sofia’s body, certain body parts definitely held more power than others.

The house was quiet and dark as I made my way toward Emma’s room. I carefully opened the door and peered in. Emma was asleep, her back turned to me. She was still my little sister, still a little girl in my eyes, which was at odds with my perception of Sofia who was barely older.