Fragile Longing

He turned to me, dark eyes locking on mine. My skin heated even more, and I had to look down into my lap. He cleared his throat. “What you overheard in the lobby wasn’t meant for your ears.”

I nodded. “It’s okay. I know you wanted Serafina.” My voice shook.

“Sofia,” Danilo said in a firm voice that made me look up. I wasn’t sure what his expression meant. He definitely didn’t look happy. “I chose you. Serafina and I won’t work after what happened. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. That’s why I said what I said.”

I searched his face briefly before looking away. He looked honest, but a hint of doubt remained in me. What I’d seen downstairs hadn’t seemed like a show for Fina. Danilo had looked honestly disappointed over losing her. Yet, I wanted to believe that he had really chosen me to be his future bride, that Dad didn’t have to talk him into it.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

I forced a smile. “Yeah.”

“Good.” He stood, and for a moment, our eyes met again. His mouth tightened in a way I didn’t understand, then he turned and left.

I peered down at my hands, torn between excitement and disappointment. Wiggling my fingers, I wondered when I’d get an engagement ring. Fina had gotten hers immediately when our parents had decided on the bond.

But maybe this time, they’d wait. It would be frowned upon if an engagement was made public so shortly after Fina was saved.

I stood and headed over to my bed. I grabbed my stuffed animals and tossed them to the ground, then removed a few embarrassing posters of horses from my walls. After I’d removed a few too-frilly dresses from my wardrobe and tossed them on the stuffed animal heap, I hurried downstairs to grab a garbage bag. Danilo wanted someone as poised as my sister. If I wanted him to want me, I couldn’t act like a little girl anymore.Returning home after ending my engagement to Serafina felt like admitting defeat. Few of my men knew of the cancelation yet. If it had been up to me, I’d have kept the matter under the rug for a while, but Father had insisted we tell our Captains.

That’s why I’d called for a meeting first thing after I returned to Indianapolis. I had ten Captains who were responsible for different areas of the business. One of them was my cousin Marco, who happened to be one of my best friends. His father had died a few months ago from the same cancer that was slowly devouring my father. They’d both been chain smokers since their teenage days, and both paid the bitter price for it.

I flipped open the Zippo, then closed it. I’d stopped smoking six months ago exactly because of this, but I couldn’t part ways with the lighter that my grandfather had given to me for my fourteenth birthday.

I cleared my throat, realizing my men had been staring at me and waiting for me to say something. I’d called them in, after all. They sat around the long glass table in my office, their eyes on me. I was the youngest, even Marco was almost a year older than me. When I’d started holding meetings in my own house and no longer in my parents’ mansion, I’d made sure to keep my office as modern and functional as possible—glass and sleek black wood. I wanted to show my men that things would change now that I was in power, and outward appearances always were a good start. My father had been a good Underboss, but I had to find my own style of ruling.

I pushed up from my chair, preferring to stand so I could have a good view of everyone.

So far, only Marco knew of the engagement debacle.

Steeling myself, I told my men about the canceled engagement. Their reactions ranged from surprise to approval. None of them seemed to consider it a bad thing.

My oldest Captain nodded. His white hair showed his age, that of a man who’d served as a Captain in Indianapolis for longer than I had been on earth—a fact he’d sometimes let show in the beginning. “It makes sense. They can’t expect you to marry someone the enemy has defiled.”

I gritted my teeth. My first instinct was to contradict him and tell him the truth—that I hadn’t canceled the engagement but my fiancée had.

Instead, I nodded, too proud to admit defeat. Marco didn’t say anything, nor did he react. I went on to tell them about my engagement with Sofia, and as expected, my men accepted the bond. For them, all that mattered was that our territory got the recognition it deserved. Women were interchangeable if they had the expected status. It wasn’t uncommon for girls to be promised at an early age, even to older men, as long as the wedding was postponed until after their eighteenth birthday.