Ugly Love

?I need to get in there,? he mutters, just as my butt meets the floor. He makes an attempt to push the apartment door open with his other hand, and this immediately sends me into panic mode. I pull my legs the rest of the way inside, and his hand comes with me. I use my free leg to kick the door shut, slamming it directly onto his wrist.

?Shit!? he yells. He?s trying to pull his hand back into the hallway with him, but my foot is still pressing against the door. I release enough pressure for him to have his hand back, and then I immediately kick the door all the way shut. I pull myself up and lock the door, the dead bolt, and the chain lock as quickly as I can.

As soon as my heart rate begins to calm down, it starts to scream at me.

My heart is actually screaming at me.

In a deep male voice.

It sounds like it?s yelling, ?Tate! Tate!?

Corbin.

I immediately look down at my chest and pull my phone out of my bra, then bring it up to my ear.

?Tate! Answer me!?

I wince, then pull the phone several inches from my ear. ?I?m fine,? I say, out of breath. ?I?m inside. I locked the door.?

?Jesus Christ!? he says, relieved. ?You scared me to death. What the hell happened??

?He was trying to get inside. I locked the door, though.? I flip on the living-room light and take no more than three steps inside before I come to a halt.

Good going, Tate.

I slowly turn back toward the door after realizing what I?ve done.

?Um. Corbin?? I pause. ?I might have left a few things outside that I need. I would just grab them, but the drunk guy thinks he needs to get inside your apartment for some reason, so there?s no way I?m opening that door again. Any suggestions??

He?s silent for a few seconds. ?What did you leave in the hallway??

I don?t want to answer him, but I do. ?My suitcase.?

?Christ, Tate,? he mutters.

?And … my purse.?

?Why the hell is your purseoutside??

?I might have also left the key to your apartment on the hallway floor.?

He doesn?t even respond to that one. He just groans. ?I?ll call Miles and see if he?s home yet. Give me two minutes.?

?Wait. Who?s Miles??

?He lives across the hall. Whatever you do, don?t open the door again until I call you back.?

Corbin hangs up, and I lean against his front door.

I?ve lived in San Francisco all of thirty minutes, and I?m already being a pain in his ass. Figures. I?ll be lucky if he lets me stay here until I find a job. I hope that doesn?t take long, considering I applied for three RN positions at the closest hospital. It might mean working nights, weekends, or both, but I?ll take what I can get if it prevents me from having to dip into savings while I?m back in school.

My phone rings. I slide my thumb across the screen and answer it. ?Hey.?

?Tate??

?Yep,? I reply, wondering why he always double-checks to see if it?s me. Hecalled me, so who else would be answering it who sounds exactly like me?

?I got hold of Miles.?

?Good. Is he gonna help me get my stuff??

?Not exactly,? Corbin says. ?I kind of need you to do me a huge favor.?

My head falls against the door again. I have a feeling the next few months are going to be full of inconvenient favors, since he knows he?s doing me a huge one by letting me stay here. Dishes? Check. Corbin?s laundry? Check. Corbin?s grocery shopping? Check.

?What do you need?? I ask him.

?Miles kind of needs your help.?

?The neighbor?? I pause as soon as it clicks, and I close my eyes. ?Corbin, please don?t tell me the guy you called to protect me from the drunk guy isthe drunk guy.?

Corbin sighs. ?I need you to unlock the door and let him in. Let him crash on the couch. I?ll be there first thing in the morning. When he sobers up, he?ll know where he is, and he?ll go straight home.?

I shake my head. ?What kind of apartment complex are you living in? Do I need to prepare to be groped by drunk people every time I come home??

Long pause. ?He groped you??

? ?Grope? might be a bit strong. He did grab my ankle, though.?

Corbin lets out a sigh. ?Just do this for me, Tate. Call me back when you?ve got him and all your stuff inside.?

?Fine.? I groan, recognizing the worry in his voice.

I hang up with Corbin and open the door. The drunk guy falls onto his shoulder, and his cell phone slips from his hand and lands on the floor next to his head. I flip him onto his back and look down at him. He cracks his eyes open and attempts to look up at me, but his eyelids fall shut again.

?You?re not Corbin,? he mutters.

?No. I?m not. But I am your new neighbor, and from the looks of it, you?re about to owe me at least fifty cups of sugar.?

I lift him by his shoulders and try to get him to sit up, but he doesn?t. I don?t think he can, actually. How does a person even get this drunk?

I grab his hands and pull him inch by inch into the apartment, stopping when he?s just far enough inside for me to be able to close the door. I retrieve all of my things from outside the apartment, then shut and lock the front door. I grab a throw pillow from the couch, prop his head up, and roll him onto his side in case he pukes in his sleep.

And that?s all the help he?s getting from me.

When he?s comfortably asleep in the middle of the living-room floor, I leave him there while I look around the apartment.

The living room alone could fit three of the living rooms from Corbin?s last apartment. The dining area is open to the living room, but the kitchen is separated from the living room by a half-wall. There are several modern paintings throughout the room, and the thick, plush sofas are a light tan, offsetting the vibrant paintings. The last time I stayed with him, he had a futon, a beanbag chair, and posters of models on the walls.

I think my brother might finally be growing up.

?Very impressive, Corbin,? I say out loud as I walk from room to room and flip on all the lights, inspecting what has just become my temporary home. I kind of hate that it?s so nice. It?ll make it harder to want to find my own place once I get enough money saved up.

I walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator. There?s a row of condiments in the door, a box of leftover pizza on the middle shelf, and a completely empty gallon of milk still sitting on the top shelf.

Of course he doesn?t have groceries. I can?t have expected him to change completely.

I grab a bottled water and exit the kitchen to go search for the room I?ll be living in for the next few months. There are two bedrooms, so I take the one that isn?t Corbin?s and set my suitcase on top of the bed. I have about three more suitcases and at least six boxes down in the car, not to mention all my clothes on hangers, but I?m not about to attempt those tonight. Corbin said he?d be back in the morning, so I?ll leave that to him.

I change into a pair of sweats and a tank top, then brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Normally, I would be nervous about the fact that there?s a stranger in the same apartment I?m in, but I have a feeling I don?t need to worry. Corbin would never ask me to help someone he felt might be a threat to me in any way. Which confuses me, because if this is common behavior for Miles, I?m surprised Corbin asked me to bring him inside.

Corbin has never trusted guys with me, and I blame Blake for that. He was my first serious boyfriend when I was fifteen, and he was Corbin?s best friend. Blake was seventeen, and I had a huge crush on him for months. Of course, my friends and I had huge crushes on most of Corbin?s friends, simply because they were older than we were.

Blake would come over most weekends to stay the night with Corbin, and we always seemed to find a way to spend time together when Corbin wasn?t paying attention. One thing led to another, and after several weekends of sneaking around, Blake told me he wanted to make our relationship official. The problem Blake didn?t foresee was how Corbin would react once Blake broke my heart.

And boy, did he break it. As much as a fifteen-year-old heart can be broken after the span of a two-week secret relationship. Turned out he was officially dating quite a few girls during the two weeks he was with me. Once Corbin found out, their friendship was over, and all of Corbin?s friends were warned not to come near me. I found it almost impossible to date in high school until after Corbin finally moved away. Even then, though, the guys had heard horror stories and tended to steer clear of Corbin?s little sister.

As much as I hated it then, I would more than welcome it now. I?ve had my fair share of relationships go wrong since high school. I lived with my most recent boyfriend for more than a year before we realized we wanted two separate things out of life. He wanted me home. I wanted a career.

So now I?m here. Pursuing my master?s degree in nursing and doing whatever I can to avoid relationships. Maybe living with Corbin won?t be such a bad thing after all.

I head back to the living room to turn out the lights, but when I?ve rounded the corner, I come to an immediate halt.

Not only is Miles up off the floor, but he?s in the kitchen, with his head pressed against his arms and his arms folded on top of the kitchen counter. He?s seated on the edge of a bar stool, and he looks as if he?s about to fall off it any second. I can?t tell if he?s sleeping again or just attempting to recover.

?Miles??

He doesn?t move when I call his name, so I walk toward him and gently lay my hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. The second my fingers squeeze his shoulder, he gasps and sits up straight as if I just woke him from the middle of a dream.

Or a nightmare.

Immediately, he slides off the stool and onto very unstable legs. He begins to sway, so I throw his arm over my shoulder and try to walk him out of the kitchen.

?Let?s go to the couch, buddy.?

He drops his forehead to the side of my head and stumbles along with me, making it even harder to hold him up. ?My name isn?t Buddy,? he slurs. ?It?s Miles.?

We make it to the front of the couch, and I start to peel him off me. ?Okay, Miles. Whoever you are. Just go to sleep.?

He falls onto the couch, but he doesn?t let go of my shoulders. I fall with him and immediately attempt to pull away.

?Rachel, don?t,? he begs, grabbing me by the arm, trying to pull me to the couch with him.

?My name isn?t Rachel,? I say, freeing myself from his iron grip. ?It?s Tate.? I don?t know why I clarify what my name is, because it?s not likely he?ll remember this conversation tomorrow. I walk to where the throw pillow is and pick it up off the floor.

I pause before handing it back to him, because he?s on his side now, and his face is pressed into the couch cushion. He?s gripping the couch so tightly his knuckles are white. At first, I think he?s about to get sick, but then I realize how incredibly wrong I am.

He?s not sick.

He?s crying.

Hard.

So hard he isn?t even making a sound.

I don?t even know the guy, but the obvious devastation he?s experiencing is difficult to witness. I look down the hallway and back to him, wondering if I should leave him alone in order to give him privacy. The last thing I want to do is get tangled up in someone?s issues. I?ve successfully avoided most forms of drama in my circle of friends up to this point, and I sure as hell don?t want to start now. My first instinct is to walk away, but for some reason, I find myself oddly sympathetic toward him. His pain actually appears genuine and not just the result of an overconsumption of alcohol.

I lower myself to my knees in front of him and touch his shoulder. ?Miles??

He inhales a huge breath, slowly lifting his face to look at me. His eyes are mere slits and bloodshot red. I?m not sure if that?s a result of the crying or the alcohol. ?I?m so sorry, Rachel,? he says, lifting a hand out toward me. He wraps it around the back of my neck and pulls me forward toward him, burying his face in the crevice between my neck and shoulder. ?I?m so sorry.?

I have no idea who Rachel is or what he did to her, but if he?s hurting this bad, I shudder to think what she?sfeeling. I?m tempted to find his phone and search for her name and call her so she can come rectify this. Instead, I gently push him back into the couch. I lay his pillow down and urge him onto it. ?Go to sleep, Miles,? I say gently.