Valentine (On Dublin Street 5.5)

I blushed harder which made him laugh harder.

“We were just leaving,” I said apologetically to Anthea, not even able to meet anyone else’s eyes.

My friend raised an eyebrow. “Oh I’ll bet.”

Adam said his goodbyes and started to lead me away.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her as we were passing.

“Don’t be.” She grinned. “You lucky cow.”

I laughed and let Adam guide me out of the flat.

He was chuckling as we walked down the stairs.

“What?”

He looked back at me still grinning. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

I squeezed his hand, grateful for this man who would do anything to make me happy. “It’s one for the ages.”

Johanna and Cameron

I had butterflies in my belly.

Life continued to surprise me. Eleven years Cam and I had been together. We had a three- almost-four year old daughter and we were best friends. And yet, somehow, these past few months I’d lost touch with my best friend. And it was hard to explain how scary that was.

Cam had started a new job with a large international marketing company. On top of that he did freelance work with artists and independent businesses. It felt like all he did was work lately, and since I worked full time and we had Belle, there really had been no ‘us’ time.

We hadn’t had sex in six weeks.

That may not have been much to other couples but that was unheard of for us, and I was more than a little worried. I was more than a little hurt.

My decision to surprise him with a special Valentine’s evening out was a last minute thing suggested by my friend Joss. I was on a housing development site, painting another room a boring bright white, when I decided to call Joss on my break. The distance between my husband and me was eating at me. I felt incredibly lonely. I finally let myself acknowledge that and called Joss for help, hoping I wasn’t interrupting her writing.

“Nah,” she’d said. “I decided not to start a word count today because it’s only going to be interrupted in a couple of hours when all the kids get here.”

“Oh yeah, it’s your turn to babysit this year.”

“Yes it is.” She’d sighed heavily. “I could really do with some alone time with Braden tonight.”

“I know what you mean.” I’d gone on to tell her everything that had not been happening between Cam and me.

“Why have you been keeping this to yourself? Are you okay?”

Her concern made tears prick my eyes and I was glad I’d found an empty room in the house we were working on. I did not want to be overheard by my colleague Deacon. “It’s just six weeks.”

“That’s a lot for you two. And it’s not just the sex. When was the last time you had an actual conversation?”

“I can’t remember. It’s just been a lot of hellos and goodbyes. I knew things would be hard while he tries to make a name for himself at the company but I don’t like this, Joss. I don’t like feeling like I don’t know what’s going on with my own husband. And the fact that he doesn’t even seem to be bothered is more than a little terrifying.”

“He’s probably just preoccupied. But you have to talk to him, Jo. Otherwise this will just build up into a huge ball of fiery resentment and that will not end well. I promise.” She sighed. “You know what you should do? Surprise him. Look, Braden and I had reservations for La Cour tonight because he forgot about the whole babysitting thing. I’ll see if we can transfer the reservation to your name. Ask Mick or Cam’s parents to look after Belle tonight and then go and surprise Cam at work, take him out for the night and then take him home and break this dry spell.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll text you to let you know if we can get the table for you.”

“Great. Thanks, Joss.”

And she did text me and we did get the table. After arranging to have my uncle Mick and his wife Dee take Belle I finished up early at work, got home, showered, put on a slinky sequined T-shirt dress and heels and grabbed a cab that took me across New Town to Cam’s office.

Standing outside it was when I was hit with the butterflies. Butterflies. All because I was going on a date with my husband.

Yeah. He and I really needed to sort this out between us. As much as I was still filled with anticipation anytime he and I went on dates (not that I could remember the last time that happened), butterflies were a thing of the past. And I was happy they were. Their absence spoke of my security with Cam, something that I never thought I’d have with any man since I was unbelievably riddled with insecurities when Cam first met me.

The return of the butterflies was a bad sign.

An omen, one might say.

I went to buzz into the building but the door opened and two guys in suits came out, smiled at me and held the door open for me. I smiled back, feeling a flush of pleasure as one of them held my gaze a little too long.

I loved my husband and I didn’t want anyone else but I had to admit, as someone who used to rely solely on my looks because I didn’t think I had anything else going for me, it was flattering when men still looked at me. Especially at the moment when I felt almost invisible at home. I was almost thirty three, I’d had a baby, and while my husband just got better looking with age, I’d started to notice wrinkles around my eyes, that my breasts weren’t as perky as they had been pre-Belle, and I’d even plucked out a few gray hairs in amongst my long strawberry blonde locks.

I knew Cam loved me, but I also still wanted him to want me. And I definitely wanted him to notice me.

Bolstered by the handsome guy in the suit and his appreciation, I smoothed my hands down my dress that twinkled beneath my coat, ready for Cam to see it and get that look in his eyes that I loved.

Taking the lift to his floor, I tried to stem the butterflies, kind of aggravated by them now.

“Excuse me.” I stopped a woman who was leaving the now almost empty office. “I’m looking for Cameron MacCabe.”

She smiled at me. “Through the door on the left. You can’t miss his desk.”

I nodded my thanks and followed her instructions.

I almost wished I hadn’t, my aggravation increasing a million fold when I stepped into the open plan office to find my husband sprawled casually back in his chair, gazing up at the brunette sitting on his desk.

My eyes travelled over the young woman, my blood heating as I took in every detail of her. She was younger than me, in her early twenties, and she was sitting on my husband’s desk with her slim legs crossed, her grey skirt riding up her thighs. Her pretty face was framed by poker straight shiny light brown hair, and she was focused completely on Cameron.