Secrets in the Marriage Bed
"I was hurting." If Vicki was being honest with her pain, he could do no less. "I'd wanted my wife to care enough about me to contact me, to make up for that fight. But as far as I knew, you hadn't bothered."
"She was incredibly convincing. If you'd heard her…" Vicki's voice was a whisper now. "It hurt me so much that you might've been with another woman. It broke my heart."
He stared at her, his certainties long gone. "I've never cheated on you and I never will." Even the fact that he'd once angrily considered such a thing had caused him endless guilt. He could never take that step and live with himself. Never. "Fidelity is the only weapon I had to fight the shame Max convinced me was my heritage. It's something I'm incapable of betraying. Do you believe me?"
The blunt question made her tremble. "Yes. Oh, God, yes." When she raised her head, there was such need in her gaze that he was lost. "I'm so sorry, Caleb. I should've talked to you, not just…"
He was angry at her for her lack of trust but not enough to relish her suffering. And it hadn't been all her doing. "I remember what I was like after I got back. No wonder you didn't want to bring up the subject. And you were right about one thing."
"What?"
"The reason I have a new secretary is because Miranda hit on me heavily a few days after you and I separated." It had enraged him that anyone would dare question his loyalty to his marriage, to his wife. He'd been brutal in his rejection of Miranda. "When she realized I'd rather slit my own throat than take her up on the offer, she resigned, and I brushed it off as a lapse in judgment on her part. If I'd known what she'd done in Wellington…"
Vicki let out a short, choked scream. "I can't believe I almost killed myself worrying about something that wasn't true! Over four months I let that thing fester inside me, telling myself I could get past it, that I could accept it for the sake of our child. And all that time, I knew I'd never be able to forgive and forget."
"I guess that's your punishment. And it's over," he said, meaning it. He wasn't going to let Miranda's lies push him into throwing away this marriage they'd rebuilt with their hearts and their souls. And nothing he could do would equal the torment Vicki had put herself through.
Not only that, but the fact that she'd spoken to him about her worries instead of continuing to let them grow, was in itself a sign of the deepest trust. "Cheating is the one thing you never have to worry about with me, honey. Between you and the firm, when would I have the time?" He wanted to make her laugh, wanted to ease the ache.
Instead, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and crawled into his lap. "We'll save your firm, Caleb. Nobody's going to take it from you. I promise."
Struck by the fierceness of the declaration, he crushed her to him. Yet, even as he held her, he knew that there was something he wasn't hearing. And this time, he didn't even know what question to ask to find out the hidden truth.
* * *
Two days and hours of hard work on both their parts later, Caleb found himself presiding over a dinner party involving nine of his biggest clients and their spouses. Kent Jacobs and his fiancée—another woman who'd stuck by her man—were also present.
Midway through the meal, when everyone seemed to be relaxed and at ease, an older client leaned across and said, "Caleb, you've been my first choice for eight years, since before you had your own firm. I won't run scared but neither will I let my company sink with you.
"We simply can't afford to be linked with a firm that has an image of incompetence if you'll forgive my blunt-ness. I know you're the best but I have to answer to shareholders who get their information from the media."
Pensive silence descended on the table, but Caleb was glad for the opportunity to lay things out in the open. He took a deep breath, caught Vicki's eye and began to speak. Here went nothing.
No regrets.
"We have every confidence we can rescue this deal. All we ask is that you don't precipitate a crisis in the firm by withdrawing your files prematurely." It was a bold request but none of these people liked dancing around hard facts. "If the deal crumbles, we'll cooperate fully in transferring files to your new attorneys. Just hold off your decision for two weeks."
The man who'd originally spoken nodded. Like the others around this table, he was used to making quick decisions. "I'm willing to do that. You're the best—I don't want to lose you if there's a chance you can come out on top."
One by one, after a few more probing questions, every one of his clients agreed. They had two weeks' grace.
* * *
In bed that night, Caleb hugged Victoria. "Breathing room."
"I'm with you all the way."
"I know." That knowledge gave him more drive and determination than anything else. "The next two weeks will be tough."
"Tougher than our separation?"
"Nothing could be as tough as that." That quickly, everything was put into perspective. "What's the worst that could happen? The deal falls apart and my firm goes down the toilet along with my reputation."
Vicki's eyes filled with laughter at his mournful tone. "And?"
"And we start over again." The vise around his chest loosened. "We won't be destitute. I've got enough saved in investments to last us a long while."
"I could keep you," she suggested, kissing his neck. "I still have that money from the trust fund that came to me on my twenty-first birthday. Plus, I'll be getting paid soon."
"The life of a kept man," he murmured. "Might have something going for it."
Her teeth scraped his jaw. "You'd go nuts within the first hour." There was a chuckle in her words, affection in the way she touched him.
"Yup. But I can dream." He turned his head to capture her wandering lips with his own.
The kiss held his devotion to her. It was tender and beautiful and this side of ravenous. When they parted, her eyes were slumberous but her lips didn't smile. "Caleb, we're okay, aren't we?"
He immediately knew what she was referring to. "We're stronger than ever. All you did was prove you can act as much a fool as me."
She made a face. "Guilty as charged. I won't ever doubt you again."
"I know." And he did. Because he hadn't lied—their marriage had only become stronger after she'd trusted him enough to bring up the painful subject. "Good night, baby."
"Good night, Caleb," she whispered, placing her head against his chest, her hand over his heart.
Content, he slept.
* * *
Twelve
« ^ »
For the next ten days, sleep was an elusive commodity. Caleb and his entire team worked like men and women possessed. And through it all, Victoria was there, the anchor in his life that let him forge ahead without destroying himself with worry. No regrets.
During the third day, she turned up with muffins for everyone. It gave his overworked staff a cheerful moment and considerably boosted morale. For the thousandth time, Caleb thanked God for her.
Pulling her into his office, he held her tight. "How was your day?"
"Busy. I think I've lined up a corporate sponsor for the charity concert I'm organizing, but it's tricky at the moment. The good news is that the radio interviews are set to go." Her hand stroked his back. "You?"
"We're doing everything we can but so far, nothing concrete." He adored her for helping him fight for his dream even as she chased her own. "Heart would be crazy to let you go."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Her smile turned a little wicked. "And thanks for setting up this crisis as an excuse to not keep our dinner appointment with Ada."
Her words made him laugh. "I did it all for you."
"I know." A more solemn look came over her face. "Can I lend a hand here in any way?"
He kissed her. "Go home and rest. I need to know that you and the baby are okay."
"We're fine. We're more than fine."
"In that case, you're welcome to keep feeding us. I think Kent was making noises about cinnamon rolls."
Their shared laughter filled the air.
* * *
Vicki left Caleb's office building with a smile. It lasted until she answered her cell phone ten minutes later. The number was unfamiliar but the voice wasn't.
"Hello, Vicki."
"Mother." Vicki moved to stand with her back to a wall. She'd never really expected her mother to fly to New Zealand to see her. Danica wasn't exactly the most reliable of women. "Are you in Auckland?"
"I've just left the airport. Can you spare time for coffee with me tomorrow, say around eleven?"